Learning from the Best

I realized the other day that I have had a lot of coaches in my life.  Specifically, the day I was thinking about this, I thought about the people who have helped me with my clothing style.  Many years ago I hired Ruth Milliron, the co-author of All Together You:  Learn the Secrets of Looking and Feeling Terrific.  I had a closet full of workweek clothes but nothing to wear to the Rotary event with my hubby.  That was the best money I ever spent.  Within about 2 hours, she had me lined up with at least five different outfits, from very formal to dressy casual.  Best of all, she helped me to see my style.  Don't ask me to give it a name, but I understand it.

What seems like thousands of years ago, when I was living in Detroit, a chance presentation at some networking event that I attended, gave me a little nugget about how elastic belts (that are a little out of fashion now!) help to define the waist.  Since I am more or less built like a telephone phone, that was great advice.

Recently, at another networking event, Stacy O'Brien, Premier Designs Jewelry, offered a free closet consultation to two people.  You can bet that I got to her quickly. Right away she understood that I needed assistance in my casual, weekend clothing.  I guess sweats and a t-shirt don't constitute a style!  Again within 90 minutes she had paired so many things in my closet that I would never had thought of putting together.  She had me takes pictures so I could have my "cheat sheet" for later.

But this is not just about clothing.  You see, I never went to college, but I have never stopped learning.  Sometimes a coach (or mentor) didn't even know he or she had that title.  They just appeared and gave me what I needed at that time.  Sometimes it has been a formal arrangement, where I paid money for their services.  It doesn't matter which it was, because I value coaching,  Without it I wouldn't be the person I am today nor would my business have succeeded!

Who have you had in your life that has made a difference in your success and do you think of that person as your coach?

Don't Let it Get in Your Way

I had the pleasure this week of celebrating Nation Hijab Day at a panel discussion put on by Women of Toledo.

One panelist, Zobaida Falah, founder of Cure, was asked if she has experienced  discrimination in the business world because of her head covering.  She said that she has, but that instead of being a victim she uses that to motivate her to analyze her presentation or meeting to determine what she could have done better to get a better result.


I thought how that advice can certainly lend itself to the craft of networking.  Sometimes I reach out and are pushed back.  Either people are disinterested or downright rude.  But instead of getting all hot and bothered, I could just move on and ask myself, "Who else would be better for me to connect with?"

Perhaps it is not the people but the process I am using when networking. Am I too forward or not enough?  Am I not reading little signals that tell the world so much and do I need to get better at that?

How can you use Zobaida advice to your advantage?

Tales from the Networking Word

Not knowing how to network the right way can damage your credibility in the business world.  One aspect that some sales people break ALL the time is not knowing that networking and sales are two different animals.  Each event should be evaluated first to determine the correct behavior.

Several months ago Connext Nation was hosting an early morning event.  We had a huge contingent of grads of our course and they all know how to network the right way.  Then we also had some guests, one who seemed to have a memorized script in his head that came out of his mouth when he opened it! I actually tried to engage him three different times during the time we were together.  He could just not carry on a conversation that took him away from his prepared sales talk.  His last act before he left was to go around to each person and pass out his card (without asking for anyone's in return.)  But that's a whole other topic!

So to make sure that we're all on the same page, at a networking event, the best thing to do is to ask questions to engage other people and begin a friendly relationship that can be elevated in the future.  At a sales type event (like a trade show where you are the exhibitor), again asking questions will give you a lot more information than if you just spout off!  But you can of course talk about what you do for a living in this situation!

Networking 101 is a new course we are offering and it will address topics just like the one above!

Push-back, Big-time!

 A friend of mine was recently rebuffed in her networking attempts.  You see, she had met a fellow business owner at a networking event where they shared a table. (Let's call him Joe)  She wanted to reach out to Joe just to further the connection.  The appointment was held, but constantly through the appointment, Joe kept saying, "I just don't know why you're here.  I don't need what you offer.  Why are we spending this time together?"

Of course, my friend was frustrated.  She was NOT selling her services and truly just wanted to get to know Joe.  But it didn't happen.  Because the walls were up. (In Joe's defense, probably he had been sold to in such an appointment previously.)

What did Joe miss by being so afraid?

• He missed the opportunity to meet a really neat woman who is fun, compassionate, interesting AND connected.

• Joe missed an opportunity to add to the resources available for his future needs or even his clients needs.

• Joe missed an opportunity to tell someone else a bit about himself in order to find a connection and perhaps a new friend. 

• Joe missed an opportunity to link to someone who could be a future customer/client.  And there is considerable competition in his business segment. 

How would you have handled this situation if you were in my friend's shoes?

Ambushed!

I just have to write about this. 

My friend, Deanna Tucci Schmitt, now a yoga teacher, used to be a wonderfully successful sales person.  She had a technique that I think she called "ambushing them in the entry".  Or something similar.  It went like this:  If she was in a prospect's office and they seemed interested in buying from her, but currently were a customer of Deanna's competition, Deanna would ask the client what they thought if when they called the current vendor to cancel that the vendor tried to give a better price or better deal.  "How do you feel about that, " Deanna would innocently ask.  Of course, the prospect would be horrified that they weren't getting the best deal already.  Deanna would leave the prospect knowing that she probably had the upper hand on the old vendor.  And her prospect would become her client.

Good ambush!

So now I have to tell you about other types of ambushing.

Ambush #1

I was at a networking event this week and at the end, I was accosted by someone who came right up to me and pushed some products in my face and said that she wanted me to try these products.  I declined... nicely but firmly because I wasn't interested in the product.  This person lost an opportunity to just allow me to get to know her and maybe even suggest that we meet for coffee where of course I would try to figure out other ways I could help.  But of course I was on the defensive and didn't mention that.

Ambush # 2

This morning I was at the post office early, as I needed to mail a package.  I was using the self-mailing station, when this woman came up to me and said, "Do you have a home church?"  I told her no.  She said, "Well, would you like to come to mine?"  I told her no.  I went on with my mailing chore.  Then as a completed my task, she again said, "Well, would you like this tract, " as she offered a piece of paper to me.  I again told her no. I have to give her credit that she didn't give up, but honestly, give me a break.

In both situations, one networking and the other just going about my business, I had not entered
into these situations to buy.  And I'll bet if I approached both of those two and extended a registration form for my course and said, "Here sign along the dotted line and give me your credit card," that they night have taken a step back.

What are your thoughts on this?

What Networking Event??

It's always interesting to me when I ask a client to tell me about a networking event that they've attended within the last couple weeks
and they tell me "zero."  That happened recently in a class I am teaching.  It was the second session and the homework from the first session asked them to experience a networking event and write about it.

One you gentleman said, "I've not attended any events!"  It had been three weeks between training sessions so I was surprised.  He did say, "Well, I'll be attending a Chamber breakfast next week."  I remembered from the first session that we had talked about his membership in Kiwanis.  So I asked if he had not attended his Kiwanis meetings.  His reply was, "Well, yeah, but that's not networking."

When the mindset, even though it's a gathering of a bunch of people, is that it's not networking; guess what?  It won't be!  Of course, Kiwanis is a service club, so the overriding reason to belong is to give back to the community, BUT, the connections can be helpful in the future.  Knowing how to use this type of group is what strategic networking is all about.  And even bigger is knowing that it is a networking opportunity.

But you see, so many people see networking as selling, instead of making a connection. 

Door #1 or #2?

Speed-networking can be one of two things, either good or bad!  There is no in-between.

Last week I was at a Findlay Chamber Speed Networking and for the most part it was good.

Most of the participants realized that in two minutes they can't tell (or sell) everything.

One particiapant, however didn't know understand the concept of finding people to establish relationships.  She was in full sales mode.  She had a sales sheet inserted into a plastic protector and she used it as she pointed out all the benefits of using her services.  She never made eye contact, nor did she smile.  At the end she handed me (and everyone else) a big plastic bag full of more propaganda and candy and pens and pencils and.....

Others in the room understood the need to get to know who was sitting across the table from them.  They understood that while we may not be able to do business with them, that we still may be able to help them.  They conversed and smiled!  We traded business cards and maybe an announcement or one other small advertising piece.

Guess who are the ones I have scheduled appointments to get to know better?  I know you're smart, so you already know it is door #2.  The thought of sitting down with the lady from door #1 is very scary!

Speednetworking is meant to be a way to meet people and then to make a decision as to who you will meet later to discuss things more in-depth.

What is your experience with this type of marketing?  Share your experiences!

Bad Networking Training

I could see if happening from afar.  The young sales woman was making her rounds.  I knew that she was new to the sales world and had received direction from her sales manager -- a uneducated sales manager.

Picture this, the young sales person approached each and every person with her business card extended, like a ticket to get on the ride.  Every person got the same treatment.  She asked for their card, too.  I'm sure her instructions were to pass out as many cards as possible and to gain as many in return.  As I observed her, she didn't stop to talk with anyone.  Her goal was in numbers -- the largest amount of cards to give away and to take back to the office. 

But you and I know that her manager is training her for failure.  None of those people will remember her when she uses her time to make call backs the following day.  She was just a blur to them, not memorable at all.

So sales managers of the world, please do me a favor!

Please ask your sales people to have a conversation with 3-4 people.  They can ask them what they do, what they like about their job, types of clients they are looking for or even what brought them to the networking event.  At the end of that short conversation, she can make a decision as to whether she wants or needs their business card.  And for the ones that count she can make an appointment right there at the event.

What training have you received from a sales manager, good or bad?

Be a Hero, Invite!

Recently I was at a networking event where I met a really neat and helpful person.  We are planning to share a cup of coffee and further conversation in January.  What's really mind-boggling about this meeting is that this person was a guest of someone else at the event.  It was a one-time happening and he probably has no reason to visit ever again.

That's one miracle of you inviting your friends to go to networking events with you. But there are more than one!

Miracle #1 - Your guest may be the very person that another member is trying to meet and would have no other way of making that happen. 

Miracle #2 - Your guest may meet a member who can help them to solve a problem or issue.  Again hero status for you.

Miracle #3 - Your guest may see you in an entirely different light and in doing so may  better understand how you can be helped. Do I see a smile poking around the corners of your mouth?

This time of year is when everyone is focused on their goals for the next twelve months.  Mine is that I will ask one person per week to be my guest at whatever networking event is looming of the horizon.  I know that not everyone will come, but asking is the first step in turning into Wonder Woman!

What networking goals have you set for this year?

What Are Ya' Doin' Sitting' There?

I've been at a couple networking meetings within the past couple weeks, where when I arrived (and I typically arrive early) everyone was sitting down. Let me tell you how I felt when I walked in. My first inclination was to turn around and run!

You see, when people sit down at a networking event, it means I have to approach their back, peer around their shoulder, catch their attention and then introduce myself. There is risk because I can't see their face to determine whether they look like a friendly individual or an old grump. Just for your information, old grumps aren't fun!

If you want to meet people, present the side of you that people can talk to! It's as simple as that. Now I know that some networking events include a meal and that complicates the whole process. But here is my rule, don't sit down until the organIzer of the event says to.

Of course, if you only goal was to eat lunch, then go ahead and sit down. I promise I won't bother you!

Skuttle Butt

My friend, Scott McBride, Ray of Life Healing Center, attended a seminar that I co-presented with my friend, Jenn Wenzke, on Wednesday evening this past week. Of the 30 attendees, Scott was the only guy and he knew this going in. I call that brave!

But here's the reason why he wanted to attend. Many people who he respected had told him that he needed to meet Jenn. And while he could have asked for an introduction, what better way is there to get to get to know someone than to hear and watch them present?

After the presentation Scott was able to talk with Jenn and compare the areas that their careers might cross.

We can all take a lesson from Scott.

Who do you want to meet?
Are they presenting anytime soon?
Can you attend the event?

Obviously, if the answer if "no" you'll have to move to plan B, but if, "yes" then get your butt in the seat!

Look Out World, Here She Comes!

This week I am going to the So Now (Stone Oak Network of Women) event. I look forward to this monthly opportunity to connect with new and old contacts. This group was started less than one year ago by Jennifer Wenzke, a pink Cadillac Mary Kay representative. Last month close to two hundred women showed up. There are over 100 RSVPs for this week's event.

Why is it so successful?

Two words. Jennifer Wenzke.

I have no doubt as to why she is successful in her own business.

First of all she has the energy of 10 EverReady Bunnies.

Second, she creates excitement and acts excited about all involved with this and believe me there are oh so many details.

Third, she communicates regularly about who is coming to the event and keeps the details of the event in front of us.

Fourth, she encourages attendees to bring guests. It's like you're doing her a favor if you bring one.

Fifth, she delegates and makes the people she delegates to feel special by giving a cute moniker to the task. (I have been tasked with giving a book report each time and she introduces me as "The Happy Booker!"

Sixth, she always has in mind who should meet who and actively takes one person over to another and says, "You two need to meet."

Seventh, she shares funny stories about her "ineptitude" at the beginning of each event. We look forward to what crazy situation Jennifer has gotten herself into this month!

Eighth, she learns from each event, fine-tuning each month to make each succeeding event run more smoothly.

Ninth, she thinks big and set a challenge goal to have 100 women at the event by November (I think) and we did that in September a couple months early.

Ten, she has the event at a nice country club, so the setting is one that engenders success.

There are probably another ten items I could list about Jenn's abilities, but let's just leave this Letterman style. Adopt just some of the above for whatever you do and I am sure you'll garner some pluses in your business.

Which one will you use today?

What's Wrong With This Picture

At a large networking event, a suggestion was made that we all use the directory, that had been produced of the the people in attendance, to give a referral to the person on the list below each of us.

Good in theory, not so good in real life.

For those you who read this blog on a regular basis, you'll probably know why I got a squeamish feeling when I heard the instruction. You see, for me, giving a referral is all about the relationship and how much credibility this person has banked with me. I don't just give referrals willy-nilly, but do develop thoughtful referrals for my good friends.

I realize that others may view this differently.

In the meantime, it probably would make more sense if the instructions were to get to know the person listed after you on the list to set the tone for future referrals.

What's your take?

Hidden Rules of the Game

The other day my husband mentioned that a new person had attended their "in the garage," (read, man cave) ever-so-often, poker game. He said that he doubted this new person would ever be invited back. I couldn't imagine why that would be so. After all, there is plenty of belching and f__ting going on during the play. Oh no, it was not rude behavior. No, the rule broken, was that this newbie won. Yep, you got it, he took their money.

I guess there is an unspoken rule that you don't do that when you are new. I don't know what you do when you're having a winning streak, but I guess you're just supposed to play badly. But no one clued this person in to the secret.

Which takes me to my favorite topic - networking! Think of the organizations you belong to. What do they do to help your visitors know the secrets of the meeting? What riddles do your guests need to solve in order to be part of the "in" group? Do you banish these visitors when they don't follow code or do you help them?

In my world, the definition of networking is helping others to feel comfortable. What's yours in relation to the above story?

Learning Experience

OK, I'm about ready to head out to the National BNI Conference in Pittsburgh this week. BNI really encourages the participants of the conference to have one-to-one meetings with each other to share knowledge and ideas. Some people are very effieicent with getting these appointment set up in advance. Hmmmm, I'm guess I'm not one of them.

I do have one solid appointment and two maybees. But I am just going to approach this differently this time. I am going to schedule with those who I know nothing about and see what I can learn from them, instead of having a preconceived notion of who I should meet with.

It's a little scary doing it this way, but I'll let you know how it turns out.

Awkward Moment

Some thoughts from recent networking events.

This is the time of year for BNI's Visitor Extravaganzas. Ever the efficient organization, BNI has a structured approach to helping chapters to gain more members during this time. The members of each chapter focus on inviting a lot of qualified member prospects for one focused day.

I have attended a couple of these within the last couple weeks. Both were very successful. The members should pat themselves on their backs.

Here's something I observed.

It was obvious to me that one visitor was there to sell his stuff. He had even set up a small display to demonstrate. When I chatted with him, he "threw up" all over me about what his new-fangled stuff could do. Additionally, during the sit-down part of the meeting when a formal presentation was being delivered, right in the middle of it, he packed up his stuff and left. My first knee jerk reaction was to judge him. "Stupid networker." But then with a little more thought I realized that perhaps the person who invited him had not told him how the meeting would proceed. Perhaps this gentleman had another appointment. Who knows? What I do know that a room full of people experienced him being rather "out-of-step" with the behavior that was expected from guests. What was their knee-jerk reaction?

This is a good lesson for me. I probably have not been as thoughtful as needed when inviting guests to any networking meeting. From now on I will at least give a brief summary of what will happen so my guest can make a great impression.

Trade Show Success

With the Women's Entrepreneurial Network's April 26 annual trade show just ahead, the question we should be asking is "How can I best use my networking skills to make the best of the offering?" As an exhibitor we want to plan for success.

Many business people blindly fork over hard earned cash for booth space without a thought about what they want to achieve as a result of both the financial and time outlay.

Set a goal for what you want to achieve. As we learned with the Certified Networker training, the more specific you can be the better. So for example say, "I want to schedule four appointments with possible prospects as a result of this day-long event," instead of just, "I want to get more business."

Publish those goals! Create a sign for your booth that will let everyone know what you are attempting. Then each person will be able to read your message and might be able to help.

Invite people from your networks. This might be the easiest way to get prospects to see you in action. Also, since the WEN trade show is free to attend, it can be a good way to reward referral sources.

Create your follow-up system before the event. Timely connections will mean all the difference between success and the waste of time. If you are going to send everyone who came to your booth a postcard, you'll need to have that piece ready before the event. SendOutCards.com will allow you to create a card that you can then send later. Check with Certified Networkers Sharon Czarny or Kris Downey to see how it can be done.

Have something that bring people to your booth, but also be able to qualify prospects. Certified Networker, David Trisel, graf-X-cape, limited his expensive giveaways at a recent show by having people play a game at his booth. It also gave him a longer time to talk with them while they were trying to be a winner.

Ask for business card of the people you want to talk to later. Being selective means fewer contacts to follow up with. The time you do spend with the ones you want will be time well spent.

Know the types of people your other booth neighbors want to meet. When someone is not right for you, you may be able to walk the person to someone else.

See ya' on the 26th. Come wee what my goals are!

The Host With the Most

In the past week or so, I have attended several networking events.

What's new, right?

Well, here is my insight that seems to be so obvious.

Two of the many that I attended stand out. And they stand out for less than wonderful reasons.

At both, the host of the event did NOT welcome people with a big smile.

I felt like an intruder at both occasions. And I was an invited guest to both.

I know that in the past I have been accused of having a poker face. I have to actively work on making sure my smile is part of my make-up.

The lesson here for all of us is to set the other concerns of the world aside for that few minutes we need to show people that we are happy they are attending our event. If not, we can be sure we won't have to be the host in the future because we won't have guests.

And the Rest of the Story Is....

Today I found out that a networking event I was involved with the early part of February was a success.

Well, actually that evening I thought it was a success, but today I got the stats!

It was during International Networking Week, which is the first full week in February. A group of us in Findlay decided to put together an occasion that would help all the organizations in town to become more successful. What that meant for most of the groups that played, was to gain more members.

Today, I met with Mike Pepple, from First Federal Bank. In our wide-ranging conversation I found out that Mike is the proud dad of 11 year old twin sons. I also found out that his Kiwanis Club realized 7 new members as a result of having an exhibit table at the event.

That is what networking is all about as far as I'm concerned. Helping others to be more successful!

Falling Trees

Several years ago I was on a multi-day raft trip on the Selway River in Idaho. This is a very isolated and also federally protected river, meaning serene and no other people than the ones on our trip. One afternoon, many had gone out hiking the ridge that overlooked the river, but I chose instead to head into my tent for some quiet reading time. I was just tired that day.

The wind was blowing pretty hard and the tall trees around the camping area were dancing back and forth. All of a sudden I heard a crack, swish, crash and a second of the same sound. I was out of that tent in a nano-second. The wind was pushing some of those giant trees right to the ground.

If I was going to die being crushed by a tree, I certainly wanted to know about it! No staying in the tent for me! Seconds before, my energy level was very low - now the adreneline was pumping through my bloodstream. Fear can make our bodies do so much more than we can ever expect.

I liken the above experience to going networking events. Some people would rather die (and this is me sometimes!) than attend. For many this is fear of the situation. (not me, I'm just lazy!) But just like facing the trees, facing the networking situation will send the networking adrenaline racing around your body.