Bashing

I got a little uncomfortable at an event the other night.  It was an all-women's event.  I used to be biased against all-women's groups, because the ones I attended seemed to be a bit "fluffy" for me.  But my friend, Jenn Wenzke, founder of So Now, a one gender networking group, has changed my mind.  But I digress.

This group did something that I felt very uncomfortable about.  They bashed men.  I don't think bashing is appropriate no matter who it is about.  There are segments of our our world that have been verbally bashed -- blondes, through blonde jokes and polish people in the same way.  Those are two right at the top of my list and you can probably add others.  I think that when people deliver this verbal abuse, that it says a lot about them.  And it's not good.

What's the Pattern?

Last week I met with a new networking contact. From the distance I had made a decision about her -- that she was stuck up. I had even left a message with her asking if we could get together to find out more about each other. She had not returned the call.

Well, I was wrong.

I know, the first time ever in my life.

This person is delightful and looking to make connections. She had not returned the call because she had been out of her office for a week.

This person is new to the community and would like to have some help in getting to know other women. I can help with that!

Okay, so I am baring my chest (now that's a scary picture) over this because I did it again. I made a judgment AGAIN. Similar circumstance. Large group of friendly people. One a little stand-offish. She is probably shy. Or she could have been feeling not part of the group. I feel a little that way with this group of people, but for some reason this time it was better.

Did I help her to feel more comfortable? I am embarrassed to admit the answer is no. But to my defense, she stuck to the side of her boyfriend all evening, so it was kind of hard to strike up a conversation.

So there ya' go. Maybe this week I'll be better.

Is it Gender or Not?

Ivan Misner, Chairman of BNI (Business Network International) is in the process of writing a book about the differences in the way men and women network. You can participate in a survey that will help create the results in the book. Go to here to do it.

I think it should be interesting to find out what, if any, differences exist.

While, in general, it seems that men are more bottom line oriented -- is that just a fallacy? Is it really just a certain personality trait, rather than gender trait.

I must tell you that when I called on CPAs in the Detroit area during much of the '80s and '90s, most of the people I called on and networked with were of the male gender. I found a wide cross-section of networkering types, even though you would certainly clump male and accountant into the bottom line type.

What is your experience?

Gifts That Can't be Bought

In my opinion, true networking is all about giving.

At our monthly Certified Networker lunch, the question of the month was, "What is the best gift you have even given?"

The answers were as varied as the people in attendance, but there was one common theme.

All presents involved the giver giving of themselves. For example:

Tracy Cox, Bottomline Bookkeeping - a long time ago she made a thousand dollar bill with her grandpa's picture on it. She gave it to him and of course he loved it.


Lisa Olvera, Corporate Intelligence Consultants - gave a 1956 cookbook to her daughter. This cookbook had also been used by Lisa's mother and grandmother.



Frank Smith, Re/Max Masters - surprised his mother when he and his two brothers all showed up at church at the same time.




Terry Williams, Action Mechanical - gave his partner Mike a present long ago when Terry called his dad and asked him to go to church with Mike.

Ellen Critchley, Critchley Creative - Made business cards for her dad because he gave (truly gave) golf lessons and she felt he needed cards to reflect this avocation.



Julie Kuney, Comfort Keepers - gave a wedding ring to her husband (today is #37).



Tracee Swank, True Compass Coaching- gave her dad a framed picture of them walking down the aisle at her wedding with the caption, "mission accomplish." He had been diagnosed with cancer and she had issued the challenge that she wanted him to walk her down the aisle.

Doug Clark, Fifth Third Bank - gave bone marrow to his brother.





These are just a few of the wonderful examples of how giving the members of our community are. I am very proud of them.

What gift have you given that stands out in your mind?

Pink Tonka Trucks

Somebody asked me tonight about how I keep all the networking information straight in my head, so that when someone says that they are interested in trucking, I remember others that also have the same focus. I had to reply truthfully that I really didn't know the answer and probably I'm really not that good at it.

What stood out for me in the example I gave, trucking, is that of the four or five people who have mentioned that they are focusing on the trucking industry, all of them are women. Now, I'm all for women doing any job. I do have to admit that because of the gender involved, it became a memorable, top-of-mind piece of information for me.

What can we learn from that?

If we're unique in some way, we will be top-of-mind.

There are plenty of people who tell me that they're target market is small business owners. I can tell you that they are a blur in my mind. The description is way too general for me to remember. They are blah.

How do you remember who to connect with whom? What is your system?