Tales from the Networking Word

Not knowing how to network the right way can damage your credibility in the business world.  One aspect that some sales people break ALL the time is not knowing that networking and sales are two different animals.  Each event should be evaluated first to determine the correct behavior.

Several months ago Connext Nation was hosting an early morning event.  We had a huge contingent of grads of our course and they all know how to network the right way.  Then we also had some guests, one who seemed to have a memorized script in his head that came out of his mouth when he opened it! I actually tried to engage him three different times during the time we were together.  He could just not carry on a conversation that took him away from his prepared sales talk.  His last act before he left was to go around to each person and pass out his card (without asking for anyone's in return.)  But that's a whole other topic!

So to make sure that we're all on the same page, at a networking event, the best thing to do is to ask questions to engage other people and begin a friendly relationship that can be elevated in the future.  At a sales type event (like a trade show where you are the exhibitor), again asking questions will give you a lot more information than if you just spout off!  But you can of course talk about what you do for a living in this situation!

Networking 101 is a new course we are offering and it will address topics just like the one above!

Just Be Nice Please

I am often asked to speak....for free.  Unlike my son, Greg Peters, The Reluctant Networker, I do agree to these requests.  Greg's speaking career is much more advanced than mine and he deserves to be paid.  But back to me!

Groups that ask me to donate money.....after all, my time is money when I'm giving my expertise.  I hope they'd realize that they need and should want to give something in return.  I know, I know, I get my meal paid for and sometimes I get a nice pen or plaque.  But beyond that, they need to make a big deal over this person.

A member of the group should be assigned as my go-to person.  That someone is my contact person both before the talk and then also actually at the event to welcome me!  This ambassador should take the time to find out something about me (either by calling in advance or Googling me) so that when making an introduction to another member, they can give a little synopsis. 


I can't tell how many times I have NOT received the above.  A couple times I've arrived at an event and the few people in attendance asked me who I was and why I  was there.Suspiciously!  

 

One time I was told to sit at the head table and no one sat with me at the long expanse.  Talk about feeling a little weird.  Funny thing, for that talk, I was asked to speak about how a group could be more welcoming! Obviously they needed to hear my message.

So I don't ask for much, just a friendly face and perhaps an introduction that could lead to business for me.

What's your take on this?

Linked Off

So about a  year ago I had an appointment with a gentleman that was referred to me by another person who I don't know well.  We'll call my appointment guy Jake.  Jake was interested in what I had to offer him and 
asked for me to provide some specific information.  I sent the information the very next day.  I followed up with a phone call......three times.  I also texted and emailed to make sure that Jake received the information.  I did not hear one word from this man.  Rude.

Now just the other day, I received a LinkedIn message from him asking me to help him recruit new people to his company.  Ruder.

I figure I was one of hundreds of people that he contacted in the same manner, mining his LinkedIn position.  This is what I really dislike about LinkedIn and the way it is being used by some.  But really it is not this social media platform that is at fault.  Really the responsibility lies right with the user.  One who is so rude that I would NEVER refer a person to work for him.

What are your thoughts on this?

Wait, What Does He Want?

A friend emailed me and asked me to meet with a young friend of hers who in his first sales job is selling knives.  She mentioned that he just needs to know how to get out with and meet with people he doesn't know.  I think that is networking, but then later in the email she mentioned that he doesn't need to sell anything to get paid, just needs to do a demonstration.

Right away it didn't feel right.  You see, she is asking for one thing, but then switching to another right at the end. 

One scenario is that he wants to learn to network.

Second scenario is that he wants to demonstrate his product.


One is all about relationship development and the other is pure sales.  Nothing is wrong with either.  It just is a mixed message about what is REALLY going to happen.

You and I probably can sense what is going to happen. As soon as I sit down with this young fellow, the knives are going to come out.  He is not interested in me, but only in making the presentation to get paid.  So in my book that is not a networking appointment.

I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet.  Have the appointment and stop him from demonstrating and explain the networking process?

Or just let it go? 

Sometimes I just have to let things pass. 

Bashing

I got a little uncomfortable at an event the other night.  It was an all-women's event.  I used to be biased against all-women's groups, because the ones I attended seemed to be a bit "fluffy" for me.  But my friend, Jenn Wenzke, founder of So Now, a one gender networking group, has changed my mind.  But I digress.

This group did something that I felt very uncomfortable about.  They bashed men.  I don't think bashing is appropriate no matter who it is about.  There are segments of our our world that have been verbally bashed -- blondes, through blonde jokes and polish people in the same way.  Those are two right at the top of my list and you can probably add others.  I think that when people deliver this verbal abuse, that it says a lot about them.  And it's not good.

Ambushed!

I just have to write about this. 

My friend, Deanna Tucci Schmitt, now a yoga teacher, used to be a wonderfully successful sales person.  She had a technique that I think she called "ambushing them in the entry".  Or something similar.  It went like this:  If she was in a prospect's office and they seemed interested in buying from her, but currently were a customer of Deanna's competition, Deanna would ask the client what they thought if when they called the current vendor to cancel that the vendor tried to give a better price or better deal.  "How do you feel about that, " Deanna would innocently ask.  Of course, the prospect would be horrified that they weren't getting the best deal already.  Deanna would leave the prospect knowing that she probably had the upper hand on the old vendor.  And her prospect would become her client.

Good ambush!

So now I have to tell you about other types of ambushing.

Ambush #1

I was at a networking event this week and at the end, I was accosted by someone who came right up to me and pushed some products in my face and said that she wanted me to try these products.  I declined... nicely but firmly because I wasn't interested in the product.  This person lost an opportunity to just allow me to get to know her and maybe even suggest that we meet for coffee where of course I would try to figure out other ways I could help.  But of course I was on the defensive and didn't mention that.

Ambush # 2

This morning I was at the post office early, as I needed to mail a package.  I was using the self-mailing station, when this woman came up to me and said, "Do you have a home church?"  I told her no.  She said, "Well, would you like to come to mine?"  I told her no.  I went on with my mailing chore.  Then as a completed my task, she again said, "Well, would you like this tract, " as she offered a piece of paper to me.  I again told her no. I have to give her credit that she didn't give up, but honestly, give me a break.

In both situations, one networking and the other just going about my business, I had not entered
into these situations to buy.  And I'll bet if I approached both of those two and extended a registration form for my course and said, "Here sign along the dotted line and give me your credit card," that they night have taken a step back.

What are your thoughts on this?

Door #1 or #2?

Speed-networking can be one of two things, either good or bad!  There is no in-between.

Last week I was at a Findlay Chamber Speed Networking and for the most part it was good.

Most of the participants realized that in two minutes they can't tell (or sell) everything.

One particiapant, however didn't know understand the concept of finding people to establish relationships.  She was in full sales mode.  She had a sales sheet inserted into a plastic protector and she used it as she pointed out all the benefits of using her services.  She never made eye contact, nor did she smile.  At the end she handed me (and everyone else) a big plastic bag full of more propaganda and candy and pens and pencils and.....

Others in the room understood the need to get to know who was sitting across the table from them.  They understood that while we may not be able to do business with them, that we still may be able to help them.  They conversed and smiled!  We traded business cards and maybe an announcement or one other small advertising piece.

Guess who are the ones I have scheduled appointments to get to know better?  I know you're smart, so you already know it is door #2.  The thought of sitting down with the lady from door #1 is very scary!

Speednetworking is meant to be a way to meet people and then to make a decision as to who you will meet later to discuss things more in-depth.

What is your experience with this type of marketing?  Share your experiences!

Obligatory Card

OK, I feel like the Grinch here, but I just have to say my piece! 

The other day I received an e-Christmas (holiday) greeting from a business colleague.  Well, let me rephrase that!

I received the missive from this person's administrative assistant on this person's behalf.

Now, I am no dummy.  I know that there are plenty of secretaries and administrative assistants that have signed their boss' name and addressed the company card and sent them out without the boss ever touching them, but at least they PRETENDED like the boss sent them.

Instead of feeling joyous I felt less than! 

Then I wondered if I was just jealous because I have give up sending out Christmas cards.  I don't have time to do it well.... or I don't make time to do it.  (I grew up in a household where my parents sent out over 700 cards every year with a personal message on each and every one. And my dad helped with that chore, too.)

So maybe I'm a dinosaur.  But please save yourself time.  Don't send me a holiday card unless you can personally enter into the transaction.

What do you think?

Help My Calendar!

OK, so let's talk a little bit about networking etiquette!

First of all if you mistakenly miss an appointment, as soon as you realize your error, make contact with the person you were supposed to meet.  This happens to all of us from time to time, so it's all in how you handle it when it happens.

If you have scheduled an appointment, canceling within 24 hours or less means that you have left a hole in the other person's schedule.  Especially if they are busy, this can be frustrating and make them think twice about whether to reschedule with you.

When you schedule the appointment, include the other person's phone number (cell phone) in the appointment notes so you can easily make contact if you are going to be late.

There!  That will keep ya' on the straight and narrow for a couple days!

What networking etiquette do you think is misused the most?

From First to Home Without Batting

I know that I am old school, but I don't link with anyone on Linkedin or Facebook unless I've actually met them previously.  If the objective of these platforms was to have as many people "connected" to me, I'm still not sure whether I would do it.

Here's why.

People are idiots.  Oh, OK, I'll be nice, people act idiotically.

This past week I linked with someone by mistake because his name is very close to another person I know.  So I accepted the invitation thinking it was my acquaintance. 

I guess the Linkedin police aren't going to get me, but they should go after the person I linked with.

You see, I received an email that said, 
"Thank you for linking with me now let me write four long paragraphs about what it is that I do and oh, by the way, perhaps we could work with each other sometime in the future."

Whoa baby!

I don't know this person, nor does he know me.  I might be the female version of the Boston Strangler.

Enough said.

The Right Way

Like me, I'm sure you all have so many requests from people you have never met to connect on Linkedin or Facebook or other social media sites.  I am a relic, so unless I already know the person I don't usually agree to the link.  Ever so often, a new person will actually be appropriate in the way the try to make the connection.  That happened last week.

Stacey Heckel is a sales rep for Paychex here in the Toledo area.  She actually took the time to customize her invitation to me instead of relying on the old, "Please join my professional network."  Because of her extra effort, I suggested that we meet for coffee.  Now having also worked in that industry in the past, I do know that this time of year most of the payroll sales reps are busier than the proverbial one-armed paperhanger.  But Stacey made the time the day before Christmas. One gold star.

Stacey didn't try to sell me on payroll.  She did ask if I had any employees and when I explained that I only had vendors, I was poised to the "Well we can do 1099s attack."  So right from the start she demonstrated that she understood the value of relationship development instead of pushing product.   Second gold star.

When she found out that I had also worked for Paychex ages ago, she asked for advice and actually listened to it.  I knew that because she then would ask more questions.  Gold star 3.

I began to tell Stacey about the networking opportunities that she didn't know about and filled her in on the details of some groups that she only knew a little about.  She took notes.  Gold star 4!

But Gold Star Five was when at the end of our conversation, Stacey turned it around and asked what she could do to help me.

I predict that Stacey will be successful in this position because in order to do so she needs to develop strong relationships with those who can refer and introduce her to business owners.  By training she is a social worker.  She likes to really help others and that training will pay off big time for her.





A  5-star meeting the day before Christmas.  Now that's what it's all about!

Trade Show Blues

OK, so it was only 50 bucks for the booth.  And I only spent another 50 on stuff to have at the booth.

What really ticks me off, is the networkers who tromp on my territory. Yep, that's right, they steal from me.


These are the people who visit the trade show as attendees.  These are the people who use my booth space as their booth space. 
These are the people who come up to me when I am exhibiting my company and tell me about what they are selling.  

Now, I'm not against a good old-fashioned conversation with a little give and take about what each other does.  After all, I won't know if what I have to offer is anything they would want or need if we don't.  And of course, I am very open to helping others.

But I'm talking about those rude people who are bold enough to come right up to my booth and sell what they have to offer, never asking a question about what the heck I am doing there and then moving on.  They are takers all the way. 

I'm calling the sheriff the next time they try to steal my time!

Will Ya' Get a Business Card

OK, right up front here I am going to admit that I have broken some very important rules of networking in the past and will probably do so in the future.  Just last week, I forgot to take my phone in to a networking event and thus didn't have my calendar with me.  Notice, the word FORGOT.  I had brought a guest with me and we were busy talking.  At least that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

So with that being said, I want to talk about a networker who made a conscious decision to not allow others to get back to her.  This person gave me her card and asked me to sign her up for our upcoming course preview.  I told her that I would be happy to do so and would send her the details via email if she would give me her card.  She did.  I didn't look at it.  Bad girl.  Both of us.

Later, I started to react to my promise with the aforementioned card.  All the information on the card front had been scratched out except for her name.  On the back she had written the URL of her multi-level marketing site, which I did visit in the hopes of getting a way to contact her.  It was just a general site with no apparent way to make that connection.

This person made a conscious decision to make it impossible for others to connect with her.  I have absolutely no reason why she would have done this, other than this might have been her subtle way of getting people to her website so they would purchase from her.

WRONG!

What do you think?

PS.  The card is now going in the trash so I won't have to obsess over it any more!

PPS.  I am not the only one she shared cards with as another networker made a comment to me about the same issue with this person.

Givng but not Getting

A couple months ago I received a call from someone I didn't know, but they used the name of someone I did.  This new person we'll call Herb, wanted to schedule an appointment with me.  I very carefully explained that I was not interested in what he was selling, but that I would be happy to meet to see if there might be a way I could help.

The day of the appointment he was very appropriate and likable.  I could think of several of my acquaintences that would be good connections  for him.  I have since taken my time to make those personal introductions happen, three different times.

Also, I happened to meet another new person, let's call her Sally, who would benefit from meeting Herb, so I asked Herb to come to a networking event where Sally was going to be.  Herb agreed.  At the last minute Herb bowed out.  "Something had come up."  Herb also asked me to save him a seat in a preview that we give of our course, which is basically two free hours of training. I'm sure you've guessed it, last minute, "Oh gosh darn, something has come up."

While I meet new people with no expectation, when I go the extra mile to help them, I expect that they will want to enter into the concept of giving back to others, too. 

Is this too much to ask?

Do You Want Me To Tell You How Wonderful I Am?

Today I read something that made me cringe. From another consultant's column was the suggestion to wake up every morning asking, "Who am I going to be introduce myself to today."

Why the yucky feeling?

While I'm sure his advice didn't mean this, I sort of got the picture of a networker going out and handing out his cards willy-nilly to make sure he was introduced to newbies. The old deal the deck routine.

Instead, I'd like the advice to be, "Who are you going to introduce to someone today?"

I'm sure you get the slight difference. Helping others first is the hallmark of a great networker....in my opinion, of course!

What's your take?

Why in the Heck Are You Here???

A couple weeks ago I attended a chamber function and at the end of the formal event, I turned to the person who sat beside me and introduced myself. As far as I know, she was a new person, one that I'd never met before. We chatted briefly and then I suggested that we might get together to get to know each other better.

Smart phones were engaged and we scheduled an appointment for sometime in the next week or so. The day before the appointment I received and email that said, "Unfortunately, I will have to cancel our Tuesday morning meeting. .....I have a full week. I’ll contact you when my schedule lightens up."

Now several weeks have gone by and yes, you guessed it, I have not heard.

So here are a couple questions that I have.

1. Why did this person even bother to attend a chamber function where the idea of the event of to meet people? After all, if one is so busy, it would seem that it would go against logic to go where there are new people top meet which takes time.

2. Why hasn't this person called or email since as she said she would. Now I know, perhaps she is still busy.

It's interesting that when I scheduled the appointment that I had the feeling that it wasn't going to be kept. I can't tell you why, just a gut feeling.

I too had a busy week that week and in fact had several people that had asked for that appointment time, but I put them off to a more distant time slot because my time was already taken.

So here are two requests.

1. Don't schedule an appointment with me unless you plan to keep it. It's OK to tell me no.

2. If you do schedule and all of a sudden your week goes to hell and back, don't wait until the day before to break the appointment. That's just downright rude. (I know there are events such as illness or family issues that may necessitate this, so I'm not entirely rigid.)

There. This has been bothering me. Now what do you think?

Getting Jumped

Somewhere in my reading in the past couple weeks, I read a wonderful comment by Ivan Misner, Founder and Chairman of BNI. He was at a large networking event and he asked everyone in the audience to raise their hand if they were planning to sell something that evening. Many people did. His next question was telling. He again asked for a show of hands for those who were planning to buy something. I'm sure you get the picture. No one raised their hand.

Hence the conundrum.

Networking vs. selling.

I had this life puzzle happen to me at a recent networking event. The group was large and I wanted to introduce myself to a couple people and reconnect with a couple others.

One person introduced herself to me as if she did not know me. She was one of the networkers that I wanted to reconnect with. OK, maybe I need to let go of my ego and realize that I'm not so memorable to everyone! I did nicely say that I remembered her from a certain event where we had met. Oh by the way, I was the keynote speaker at that event.

So if we measure the relationship here, I wasn't even on her radar screen. There was NO relationship.

But without even the blink of an eye, she looked at me and then asked me to buy from her.

J-u-s-t l-i-k-e t-h-a-t. I was so dumbfounded that I almost couldn't speak.

Since this was networking event, my plan at the beginning of the evening was not to buy but to connect. Also, I do business with people I KNOW, like and trust.

H-m-m-m! I guess her plan was different.

What would you have done in my place?

Was it a Good Lunch?

Recently a friend of mine, Tim Saddoris, asked me about a certain networking venue, Connect4Lunch. He wanted to know what I thought of it.

I told that I could not give him an opinion because I had never taken advantage of them. He said he was going to try it out and get back to me.

Several other people that I know had attended these monthly lunches, where four people are organized to one table in advance. I think each of the four knows who the other three are. I think it is up to the participants to replaces themselves if they can not attend. A couple people who had attended had given a thumbs down review because of boorish, overbearing behavior of another table mate.

But--drum roll, please.

Tim reports great success. He says that he met three other interesting people and he has an appointment with one and is connecting one to another organization. He said, "Overall, it was worth the $10.

If you have attended a Connect4Lunch event in your area, what has been you experience?

Bump in the Middle of the NIght

Several months ago our city closed some streets that intersected railroad tracks. The reasoning was that the train would not have to blow its whistle at the former intersections. I can imagine that was a relief to those people living near the "tracks."

Of course, a couple nights later, a young man tried to drive over the tracks and got stuck. Luckily the car was removed before a train came through. There are huge concrete barriers that the driver of the car had to circumvent in order to make his attempt. I'm sure you get the picture.

Which brings me to networking.

Have you ever watched someone at a networking event trying to just bully ahead - not having regard for guidelines and maybe even body language. It is an exercise in watching an accident about to happen. These people just don't seem to see the barriers that have been set in place. They just figure that they are invincible. Or maybe they don't even think. And if you happen to be the unlucky target you get stuck in networking h__l.

If you run into one of the obnoxious networkers, the only way to protect yourself is to turn these people in the other direction. You won't want to introduce them to your best friend, but you could send them to the food table!

Stick Your Hands Up and Give Me Everything You've Got

Weird phone call.

It was the last day of the year and to be real honest, I was in Big Lots trying to find a cheap glass cake cover. So there you have it!

My cell phone rang and I answered thinking it might be a friend. Instead it was a gentleman who had read my ad in the local business paper.

Here's what he said, "(No introduction) Hi, I saw your ad in the paper and wanted to buy you coffee so I can connect into your network." Now this is one reason that I don't do a lot of advertising. My course is difficult to explain in one little block of advertising real estate.

So I answered this man by asking him if he was intersted in a course about networking. "No, I just want to connect with people in your network."

Oh, so I was getting it. I thought he thought I was connected to BNI, as I am. "No, I'm a home re-modeler and I want to connect to your network. I have been a trusted re-modeler to the rich and famous and now the business isn't so good and I want to connect with your network."

Now, remember, I don't even know this guy's name yet.

So being the nice person I am, I offered to accept his offer of coffee and that I would be happy to see if there would be ways that I might help him.

He deferred.

He said that he'd think about it and call me back.

I'm thinking he wanted me to give him some name right over the cell phone. Ha!

Before I hung up, I said, "So that I will recognize you if you call back, could you give me your name?"

Talk about rushing the relationship!

That one took the cake on the last day of the year!

And no, I didn't find the cake cover.