So what do you want?????

Today in class we talked about asking for help and yesterday at the monthly Connext Nation lunch in Findlay we also visited that subject.  So I guess that is the theme of the week!

At lunch, CN grad, David Trisel, lead the exercise, asking each one of us to write down 5 or 6 items that we needed help with.  He said it could be business or personal.  We then partnered and the goal was to help our partner with at least one of those requests.

I was lucky.  Jamie Wilkinson-Franks asked me for dinner menu ideas.  Now I have to tell you that I am not Susie homemaker, but I do have a couple really easy and yummy dinners in my repertoire.  The one I shared with her is steamed Talipia over matchstick vegetables.  The most time spent in the prep is cutting the redskin potatoes into matchsticks!  She did buy the Talapia last night and will try the recipe within the next couple days.  I feel like a hero!

I asked her to comment on a post in the blog and she has done that already for me.

The lesson learned by both of us is to ask for specifically what you want and probably somebody can help you!

Not Exactly What I Want

OK, I'm frustrated.  I asked a member of the staff of a networking group, to look at a short list of members to see which ones listed he would be willing to personally introduce to me.

The return email identified two people to whom he was willing to send an email about me.

While I am grateful for any help I can get, that type is barely on the helping scale.

We all know what is going to happen with those emails.  I will be copied.  Then when I try to reach out to suggest an appointment to connect over coffee, they will defer.  Usually their schedule is "too busy right now."

I don't blame them.  I'm sure that they've experienced throw-up appointments from others in the past.  They think I will do the same.  We all know that I won't, but they don't know that!

FRUSTRATING!

There I feel better...just a little.

How to Measure

At one of my speaking engagements in the last couple weeks, one person asked how you measure networking relationships.  Wow!  Such a short question that requires a complex answer.  For the sake of quick read I will give the Reader's Digest version.

Usually we inherently know the strength or level of relationships without thinking too much about it. 

Our best friends are at the highest level

and then

acquaintances are down a couple notches. 

Of course those new people that we've just met are at the very elementary level.

Keeping these above examples in mind when going about business networking is helpful.

Those who you known for awhile and who you know you can trust, are like best friends.  You can count on them to be helpful and do what they say they are going to do!


Others you've met just a couple times, are similar to acquaintances.  We need to get to know each of them better so we know whether they are best friend material.

And finally, that person you just met at the networking event, they have a ways to go to begin moving up the relationship ladder.

That is a simple answer.  So now each person you know can be "rated" and then once that is done, you can decide what to do to increase the level of the relationship.

Not rocket science, but helpful.

My Old Friends at Home

Susan Edinger, asked a great question about networking that I'm sure many people have wondered about. She explained, "It seems that people in the job search are reluctant to let their network know they are actively in the search."  She goes on to add, "I'm wondering if the issue is the fear of rejection."

For approximately 5 or 6 years, I spoke monthly to a group of people being helped by Right Management to find their next job.  My talk was to help those clients think about the contacts they already had that they could use to help them gain the next opportunity.  What was really interesting to me was almost each one had never left his or her office to network and had left previous connections lie fallow.

Obviously it felt awkward to now try to awaken those relationships.

So a commercial break here!  A word to the wise.  Continue to stay connected with old friends and acquaintances.  When you need help, you probably will have already provided that very same help for them previously.  Then it's not so awkward to ask for help now.  End of break!

A real conundrum.  But not so much.  In my opinion most people like to help.  If you let people know of your situation, that you are in the job market, they will probably help if they can.  And they won't begrudge you. Take an old colleague to lunch or to coffee if that's what you can afford.  Make sure you pay.  Listen and take notes.

Repeat!

Before long, these lunches will begin to pay off in new connections that might help.  You just never know.

The Elusive Question

Amanda Thompson, owner of the amazing Riverbend Team Solutions, asked a question about networking that probably everyone wants to ask but is afraid to!

Drum roll here.....

When is the appropriate time to ask for the sale?

So again I take the easy road of, "It depends!"

When I think of traditional networking - that of developing relationships to know how to help each other - probably the sale, as most of us think of it, won't even come into play. But taking a closer look, there is always a sale implied at some point during any appointment.  

The end result of an appointment could be:

1.  Should we meet again?
2.  Will you give me the name of that person?
3.  Can we make a plan so I can introduce you to the person we talked about?
4.  Would you like to attend that event with me?
5......

As you can read above, all the questions need an answer.  Indirectly you are selling to the person in front of you on some idea talked about during the meeting.   Getting agreement is realizing the sale!

However, if in a networking meeting, all of a sudden one of you switches gears and  begins selling your product or service, ("That's nice that you are going on vacation, now how about buying our landscaping services.") it feels a little icky.  I know, I know, it sounds weird, like it could never happen that way.  Well, it should never sound like that, but unfortunately is does.

So Amanda, to answer your question, you are always closing  The challenge is just picking the appropriate close as it is the most important step to take!

What the weirdest closing situations you've found yourself in? 

     

Put Me Out of My Misery

Karla Lewis is a good friend and even better referral partner.  She has become certified as a sales coach with Southwest Consulting, which excites me because I don't do and don't want to do traditional sales training.  Now I can send those requests to her.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I asked on Facebook for challenges that others face when networking.  Karla sent a comment that I'm sure we all are bothered by more than we want.  She asked, "What can I do about a person that I meet in a networking situation that talks the whole time?" 

We've all been there and probably have spent time  trying to figure out if that person can breathe through their ears, because they just don't seen to take a break. 

There are two main situations when this happens:

1)  You are at a networking event and this person comes up to you and launches their monologue.  Since you weren't expecting this salvo, you probably aren't prepared to defend yourself.  The best way to extricate yourself is to say something like, "Oh, excuse me, I have been taking all your time and I know that you want to meet a few more folks."  Now extend your hand to shake theirs (a signal that the conversation is done) and say, "Before we part, may I have your business card?"  When they give it to you say thanks and then move on.  It sounds kind of abrupt, but with this type of behavior, you can't be subtle.  Oh yeah, put a BIG x on that card, to let you know to never ever connect with that person again!

2)  You are having coffee with a new networking contact and he or she has asked for the meeting.  It is twenty minutes in and you are hating the fact that you agreed to this because this boring person is talking and talking and talking.  A couple times you had to stifle a yawn.  This is a tough situation.  Quickly decide whether you want to keep this person in your network.  If yes, you might interrupt and steer the conversation with some well-placed questions.  That way you will have control of what gets said.  If not, just interrupt and let the person know that you only have just a couple minutes to get to your next appointment and that you're sorry but you're going to have to cut this short.

I do want you to think about the person.  Are they new to networking and are they so nervous that they have diarrhea of the mouth.  Can you share how difficult it was for you as a new networker to learn to listen when all you wanted to do was talk? (you can lie a little here!)  Compassion goes a long way in the networking world.

OK, now it's your turn, what ideas do you have?

What Do You Mean..Goals?

Shannon Benge, co-owner of Beyond Business, asked me to write about two networking topics, one being the whole concept of setting goals for networking events.  (The other is about the fear of rejection when networking and I will address that in a separate post.)

So you're about to step into the venue where the chamber after hours event is being held.  What can you think about that will help to give you a good ROI on your time and money spent?

Shannon, who is a marketing consultant, would tell you that any marketing activity has to start with the objective in mind.  Networking is a marketing effort, so having an idea of what you want to gain is important!

Some questions you might ask yourself are:

1.  Who do I want to meet?
2.  What types of people do I want to meet?
3.  As a result of meeting those people what do I want?  (an appointment?)
4.  What is the amount of time I will dedicate to this event?
5.  Who else might I take with me to the event to help?
6.  What message will I use when people ask about what I do?
7.  Is there a leadership role I can play to help my visibility?
8.  If my goal is to schedule appointments, how many?

What I have found is that in most instances, if I don't have a plan of action for each event, I tend to be lazy and just socialize.  Knowing what I need to achieve to meet my own accountability, springs me into action.

Greg Peters, The Reluctant Networker, has an article about this very subject in his networking tips from last week.  If you'd like to read or listen to it go to this link. You can also subscribe to his weekly tips.

What other goals have you set for yourself at networking events?