Getting What You Want

Recently someone asked me, "But how do I find a person who will refer to me on a regular basis?"

I wish I could say, "You just need to kiss the frog and like magic, referrals start hopping your way," but I'd be sugar-coating a process that is long term, both in results and in development.

One way to catch the attention of someone who might be the best source of referrals is to give that person a qualified referral first. You ask, "But how do I do that if I don't really know what they need?"

Take a step back and get to know them better over coffee, lunch, breakfast or drinks. Or all four! If you don't know them well enough to refer them, then guess what? Probably it's comin' right back at ya'.

Once the relationship has evolved to this more seasoned level, then you can begin to listen (or hopefully you've listened all along) for opportunities. It may not be just in the person's business life, but also in their personal life.

One book that I'm recommending that really helped me to open my referral ears is, Money on the Table, Referrals in the Bank by Lee Abraham. It will change the way you listen and will offer you the opportunity to give more qualified referrals. And of course, you can teach these techniques to the very people you want referrals from!

What's your experience with developing these referral sources?

The Aqua Velva Slap!

This week one of my networking partners reminded me of how important it is to listen. I was talking with Chad Brogan, American Cellular. As a fellow BNI member I had asked him to meet to help me understand all the details of purchasing an i-Pad. So we spent a couple minutes on that, then he began to tell me about this apparatus that allows people to have just one landline phone number even if they live in two (or more) very separate locations.

That was when I did the dirty deed!

I stopped listening and also said, "I don't have a land line anymore." In my mind I didn't need or want to listen because it didn't affect me.

The old WIFM!

Chad very nicely pointed out that he was talking about it so that perhaps I could send him referrals based on this technology even though I couldn't use it. .....Oh yeah!

Thanks, Chad for the wake up call.

Goals, What Do They Have to Do With Networking?

The other day, I was cleaning out my notebook that I use to hold all my important membership "stuff" for my BNI chapter. It was getting a little thick and it had that bulging look that meant it was time!

I found an interesting piece of paper. It was a goal sheet that had used to set my target for what I wanted to achieve with my BNI membership in 2010. I remember when I set the revenue goal at $17K, I thought to myself, "That's a pretty big goal."

Well, guess what? At the end of last year, I hit almost $19K in revenue; even more that I thought was a big stretch.

OK, so what's that got to do with networking?

Two things.

1) If I set goals for networking and write them down, my brain will help to make sure I reach the goal.

2) Without networking, i.e. doing one to one meetings with my fellow members, I would not have developed the relationships needed to gain those results.

Pretty simple, but I think most of us don't want to have the chance to fail. (I must admit that it was a thought in my mind when I set the $17K goal.) So not setting goals protects us from failure, but it also helps us to settle for less.

And in my book, that is failure!

Why in the Heck Are You Here???

A couple weeks ago I attended a chamber function and at the end of the formal event, I turned to the person who sat beside me and introduced myself. As far as I know, she was a new person, one that I'd never met before. We chatted briefly and then I suggested that we might get together to get to know each other better.

Smart phones were engaged and we scheduled an appointment for sometime in the next week or so. The day before the appointment I received and email that said, "Unfortunately, I will have to cancel our Tuesday morning meeting. .....I have a full week. I’ll contact you when my schedule lightens up."

Now several weeks have gone by and yes, you guessed it, I have not heard.

So here are a couple questions that I have.

1. Why did this person even bother to attend a chamber function where the idea of the event of to meet people? After all, if one is so busy, it would seem that it would go against logic to go where there are new people top meet which takes time.

2. Why hasn't this person called or email since as she said she would. Now I know, perhaps she is still busy.

It's interesting that when I scheduled the appointment that I had the feeling that it wasn't going to be kept. I can't tell you why, just a gut feeling.

I too had a busy week that week and in fact had several people that had asked for that appointment time, but I put them off to a more distant time slot because my time was already taken.

So here are two requests.

1. Don't schedule an appointment with me unless you plan to keep it. It's OK to tell me no.

2. If you do schedule and all of a sudden your week goes to hell and back, don't wait until the day before to break the appointment. That's just downright rude. (I know there are events such as illness or family issues that may necessitate this, so I'm not entirely rigid.)

There. This has been bothering me. Now what do you think?

Two Word Poet

A little over a week ago I provided training for BNI in Findlay. Jeff Reichardt, president of Back Pain Solutions of NW Ohio, was in the class that day. He is from the New Vision BNI Chapter in Lima, Ohio.

During the break Jeff told me that he could write a poem for anyone with just a couple words supplied by that person. So I took him up on the offer and gave him "Networking guru."

I wasn't disappointed. At the end of the class, Jeff came to the whiteboard and within a few short minutes had written the poem below.

Networking Guru

I spent some time at MSP (Membership Success Program)
To learn about how to connect
I thought I knew a thing or two
About showing courtesy and respect
But what I learned in 3 short hours
Was more than I ever knew
Thank you, Debby, I learned to much
From my networking guru.

I don't know about you but I think Jeff is pretty talented.

Picky Eating and Bonding

OK, so here's the deal. I am on the Thin and Healthy Solutions Weight loss Plan and it is really, really working well and it's easy. So I am a little compulsive about what I am putting into my mouth. I had an appointment scheduled today with a fairly new contact, Luigina Boes. In the past we had been at some of the same networking meetings, but always had missed connecting with each other.

Now you have to get the picture.

I was standing at the counter at
Flying Joe Coffee Shop in Perrysburg, OH trying to figure out what to order. I'm supposed to have decaf, which I'm stomaching, but not loving. Additionally, I had just done a quick workout, so I was hot and thirsty. I was asking the barista all kinds of questions about what she thought I could have that was cold, low-fat, no sugar, low calorie and yet tasted good. (I don't want much!) Luigina, basically was doing the same. Right away, we bonded! It was just too funny. She's an exercise nut, and while I can't call myself that yet, I am headed in that direction.

Without even beginning our official chat, we had found our level of commonality. And it was interesting to see how much more we shared with each other in the next hour. We were comfortable with each other.

Finding a common point of interest (or as Scott Ginsberg puts it, CPI) makes for a strong relationship that begs to be developed even further.

Thanks, Luigina, for not thinking I was crazy with all my food questions!

Hope or Fear?

I was having a conversation with my friend, Don Kardux, about the reasons prospects might choose him to help them be more successful. Don owns Business Navigators, a long time, very successful, business consulting company. Don is not your usual stuffy type of consultant, in fact, he couldn't be any farther away from the word stuffy. He also uses a system he developed called Reverse Flow, where business owners listen to what their employees think are the best ways to "makes things better."

Don told me that he thinks business owners choose him because he represents hope. Now, I do think that might be part of the reason, but I do think underlying the hope is a big dose of FEAR!

Don is an expert in the Heating, Cooling and Ventilation industry segment and many of those businesses are family-owned. So here's my theory.

If the first generation is still at the helm, he's afraid that the business won't survive for the next generation.

If the second generation is now in charge, he's (or she's) afraid that he or she will take the business down and then what will everyone think???

Yes, Don does provide hope with his system, but really, fear is what fuels the decision to work with Business Navigators. At least that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it.

Part of a functioning word-of-mouth marketing plan is knowing what it is that makes your prospects choose you. Do you know what it is?

Are you sure?