Debby Peters, Networking Guru

Skuttle Butt

2012-01-29T10:09:00.005-05:00

My friend, Scott McBride, Ray of Life Healing Center, attended a seminar that I co-presented with my friend, Jenn Wenzke, on Wednesday evening this past week. Of the 30 attendees, Scott was the only guy and he knew this going in. I call that brave!

But here's the reason why he wanted to attend. Many people who he respected had told him that he needed to meet Jenn. And while he could have asked for an introduction, what better way is there to get to get to know someone than to hear and watch them present?

After the presentation Scott was able to talk with Jenn and compare the areas that their careers might cross.

We can all take a lesson from Scott.

Who do you want to meet?
Are they presenting anytime soon?
Can you attend the event?

Obviously, if the answer if "no" you'll have to move to plan B, but if, "yes" then get your butt in the seat!

Do You Want Me To Tell You How Wonderful I Am?

2012-01-24T14:37:00.013-05:00

Today I read something that made me cringe. From another consultant's column was the suggestion to wake up every morning asking, "Who am I going to be introduce myself to today."

Why the yucky feeling?

While I'm sure his advice didn't mean this, I sort of got the picture of a networker going out and handing out his cards willy-nilly to make sure he was introduced to newbies. The old deal the deck routine.

Instead, I'd like the advice to be, "Who are you going to introduce to someone today?"

I'm sure you get the slight difference. Helping others first is the hallmark of a great networker....in my opinion, of course!

What's your take?

Winter Wander Land!

2012-01-21T14:31:00.006-05:00

Finally, we got some snow and it is a Saturday! Yay!

I know many of you probably want to strangle me for this glee, but I spent my growing up years playing outside all day, all year long in Western NY. That meant playing in the snow drifts and having a ball. So there!

Anyway, I strapped on the cross-country skis this AM for the little tour of the back ten! It was pretty quiet out there and I didn't see any animals, but I did see lots of tracks. It was fun trying to create a story for each set or marks.

"Oh dear, did all the mess of tracks mean that there are a fight for ones life? Don't know."

"Oh dear, did the two sets of tracks represent a rabbit with a coyote in pursuit? Don't know."

"Oh dear, where the two sets of rabbit track went separate ways, mean they were playing tag? Don't know."

Then I got to thinking. What if all these tracks represented networkers? Was the muddle of tracks a picture of one networker over powering another with their sales pitch? Or was the larger set of tracks following the smaller representing, someone stalking another business person. And did the third set represent networkers having a lot of fun, but not really being strategic about their time spent.

You can see why my friends think I should not be let out alone very often!

That said, what would your networking tracks look like?

2012-01-15T11:20:00.006-05:00

This past week I met with a new networking friend. She happens to represent a direct sales company and I'm always a little hesitant when meeting with folks who are independent representatives of such businesses. I don't know whether they are badly trained by the companies or just don't know better in the way they act sometimes.

I can say with great approval, that the coffee meeting went very well. We were both relaxed and just took the time to get to know each other. We found out that neither of us are the sorority type and that we just like the easy ordinary way of life. I want to get together with this person in the future and am already thinking about how I might help her.

Conversely, recently I met someone who represents the very same company and the meeting was entirely different. This person had dollar signs in her eyes and commission breath. I mean, she just couldn't stop talking about (or actually selling) her product. You can guess that I really don't want to meet this person again any time soon.

What can we learn from this? Relationship-building, which is the hallmark of great networkers, takes time. It typically takes a few meetings before each participant feels comfortable with the other. Those who try to "rush" the relationship, never get to the second or third meeting that will help to develop helpful friends, because they have scared those very people away with their overbearing sales job.

What is your experience with this?

Where, Oh Where Has My Name Tag Gone?

2011-10-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

Name tags are important in the world of networking. Scott Ginsberg says it best, so I need to say nothing further.

When students of the Connext Nation course graduate, they receive a name tag with their name and company name in big letters, plus our c/n logo in the bottom corner.

Students from the previous course were offered have name tags that reflected the name of that course. Many of those grads want updated name tags because they are proud of being a member of the CN community no matter which course they took.

So in May, I asked all who wanted name tags to order. Many did. I had about 7 that I needed to send out via the mail, as I wasn't going to see these grads very soon. They were all mailed at the same time, in padded envelopes, with my return address on them.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. We are now again about to order name tags for our newest grads. I sent an email out to the community letting those who didn't order before know that they had a second chance now.

Then it happened. I started getting emails saying, "When am I going to get my name tag from before?" Sure enough, all seven that I mailed never made it. I dug out my receipt, thinking that even though they weren't insured that maybe they could be found, thinking they were in some mail sack someplace.

What do you think the answer was? You got it. "Can't do anything."

Of course, I will replace those name tags, but I am out $70 plus mailing expenses.

So you wonder why the post office is failing?????

As an aside several weeks before the name tag caper, we received one of those nice letters from the state of Ohio, saying that we had never paid our income tax for 2010. Of course it had been mailed from the very same post office on the due date. Hubby called our CPA and he said, "Oh that's the fifth call like this that I received this week." We thought the state had probably lost it, but now I wonder if this PO has a black hole in its backroom.

Look Out World, Here She Comes!

2011-10-17T09:24:00.007-04:00

This week I am going to the So Now (Stone Oak Network of Women) event. I look forward to this monthly opportunity to connect with new and old contacts. This group was started less than one year ago by Jennifer Wenzke, a pink Cadillac Mary Kay representative. Last month close to two hundred women showed up. There are over 100 RSVPs for this week's event.

Why is it so successful?

Two words. Jennifer Wenzke.

I have no doubt as to why she is successful in her own business.

First of all she has the energy of 10 EverReady Bunnies.

Second, she creates excitement and acts excited about all involved with this and believe me there are oh so many details.

Third, she communicates regularly about who is coming to the event and keeps the details of the event in front of us.

Fourth, she encourages attendees to bring guests. It's like you're doing her a favor if you bring one.

Fifth, she delegates and makes the people she delegates to feel special by giving a cute moniker to the task. (I have been tasked with giving a book report each time and she introduces me as "The Happy Booker!"

Sixth, she always has in mind who should meet who and actively takes one person over to another and says, "You two need to meet."

Seventh, she shares funny stories about her "ineptitude" at the beginning of each event. We look forward to what crazy situation Jennifer has gotten herself into this month!

Eighth, she learns from each event, fine-tuning each month to make each succeeding event run more smoothly.

Ninth, she thinks big and set a challenge goal to have 100 women at the event by November (I think) and we did that in September a couple months early.

Ten, she has the event at a nice country club, so the setting is one that engenders success.

There are probably another ten items I could list about Jenn's abilities, but let's just leave this Letterman style. Adopt just some of the above for whatever you do and I am sure you'll garner some pluses in your business.

Which one will you use today?

What's Wrong With This Picture

2011-08-22T07:46:00.005-04:00

At a large networking event, a suggestion was made that we all use the directory, that had been produced of the the people in attendance, to give a referral to the person on the list below each of us.

Good in theory, not so good in real life.

For those you who read this blog on a regular basis, you'll probably know why I got a squeamish feeling when I heard the instruction. You see, for me, giving a referral is all about the relationship and how much credibility this person has banked with me. I don't just give referrals willy-nilly, but do develop thoughtful referrals for my good friends.

I realize that others may view this differently.

In the meantime, it probably would make more sense if the instructions were to get to know the person listed after you on the list to set the tone for future referrals.

What's your take?

Getting What You Want

2011-07-18T09:31:00.006-04:00

Recently someone asked me, "But how do I find a person who will refer to me on a regular basis?"

I wish I could say, "You just need to kiss the frog and like magic, referrals start hopping your way," but I'd be sugar-coating a process that is long term, both in results and in development.

One way to catch the attention of someone who might be the best source of referrals is to give that person a qualified referral first. You ask, "But how do I do that if I don't really know what they need?"

Take a step back and get to know them better over coffee, lunch, breakfast or drinks. Or all four! If you don't know them well enough to refer them, then guess what? Probably it's comin' right back at ya'.

Once the relationship has evolved to this more seasoned level, then you can begin to listen (or hopefully you've listened all along) for opportunities. It may not be just in the person's business life, but also in their personal life.

One book that I'm recommending that really helped me to open my referral ears is, Money on the Table, Referrals in the Bank by Lee Abraham. It will change the way you listen and will offer you the opportunity to give more qualified referrals. And of course, you can teach these techniques to the very people you want referrals from!

What's your experience with developing these referral sources?

The Aqua Velva Slap!

2011-06-25T12:57:00.006-04:00

This week one of my networking partners reminded me of how important it is to listen. I was talking with Chad Brogan, American Cellular. As a fellow BNI member I had asked him to meet to help me understand all the details of purchasing an i-Pad. So we spent a couple minutes on that, then he began to tell me about this apparatus that allows people to have just one landline phone number even if they live in two (or more) very separate locations.

That was when I did the dirty deed!

I stopped listening and also said, "I don't have a land line anymore." In my mind I didn't need or want to listen because it didn't affect me.

The old WIFM!

Chad very nicely pointed out that he was talking about it so that perhaps I could send him referrals based on this technology even though I couldn't use it. .....Oh yeah!

Thanks, Chad for the wake up call.

Goals, What Do They Have to Do With Networking?

2011-06-13T18:38:00.008-04:00

The other day, I was cleaning out my notebook that I use to hold all my important membership "stuff" for my BNI chapter. It was getting a little thick and it had that bulging look that meant it was time!

I found an interesting piece of paper. It was a goal sheet that had used to set my target for what I wanted to achieve with my BNI membership in 2010. I remember when I set the revenue goal at $17K, I thought to myself, "That's a pretty big goal."

Well, guess what? At the end of last year, I hit almost $19K in revenue; even more that I thought was a big stretch.

OK, so what's that got to do with networking?

Two things.

1) If I set goals for networking and write them down, my brain will help to make sure I reach the goal.

2) Without networking, i.e. doing one to one meetings with my fellow members, I would not have developed the relationships needed to gain those results.

Pretty simple, but I think most of us don't want to have the chance to fail. (I must admit that it was a thought in my mind when I set the $17K goal.) So not setting goals protects us from failure, but it also helps us to settle for less.

And in my book, that is failure!

Why in the Heck Are You Here???

2011-05-15T14:39:00.007-04:00

A couple weeks ago I attended a chamber function and at the end of the formal event, I turned to the person who sat beside me and introduced myself. As far as I know, she was a new person, one that I'd never met before. We chatted briefly and then I suggested that we might get together to get to know each other better.

Smart phones were engaged and we scheduled an appointment for sometime in the next week or so. The day before the appointment I received and email that said, "Unfortunately, I will have to cancel our Tuesday morning meeting. .....I have a full week. I’ll contact you when my schedule lightens up."

Now several weeks have gone by and yes, you guessed it, I have not heard.

So here are a couple questions that I have.

1. Why did this person even bother to attend a chamber function where the idea of the event of to meet people? After all, if one is so busy, it would seem that it would go against logic to go where there are new people top meet which takes time.

2. Why hasn't this person called or email since as she said she would. Now I know, perhaps she is still busy.

It's interesting that when I scheduled the appointment that I had the feeling that it wasn't going to be kept. I can't tell you why, just a gut feeling.

I too had a busy week that week and in fact had several people that had asked for that appointment time, but I put them off to a more distant time slot because my time was already taken.

So here are two requests.

1. Don't schedule an appointment with me unless you plan to keep it. It's OK to tell me no.

2. If you do schedule and all of a sudden your week goes to hell and back, don't wait until the day before to break the appointment. That's just downright rude. (I know there are events such as illness or family issues that may necessitate this, so I'm not entirely rigid.)

There. This has been bothering me. Now what do you think?

Two Word Poet

2011-04-01T13:41:00.006-04:00

A little over a week ago I provided training for BNI in Findlay. Jeff Reichardt, president of Back Pain Solutions of NW Ohio, was in the class that day. He is from the New Vision BNI Chapter in Lima, Ohio.

During the break Jeff told me that he could write a poem for anyone with just a couple words supplied by that person. So I took him up on the offer and gave him "Networking guru."

I wasn't disappointed. At the end of the class, Jeff came to the whiteboard and within a few short minutes had written the poem below.

Networking Guru

I spent some time at MSP (Membership Success Program)
To learn about how to connect
I thought I knew a thing or two
About showing courtesy and respect
But what I learned in 3 short hours
Was more than I ever knew
Thank you, Debby, I learned to much
From my networking guru.

I don't know about you but I think Jeff is pretty talented.

Picky Eating and Bonding

2011-03-04T20:49:00.007-05:00

OK, so here's the deal. I am on the Thin and Healthy Solutions Weight loss Plan and it is really, really working well and it's easy. So I am a little compulsive about what I am putting into my mouth. I had an appointment scheduled today with a fairly new contact, Luigina Boes. In the past we had been at some of the same networking meetings, but always had missed connecting with each other.

Now you have to get the picture.

I was standing at the counter at
Flying Joe C offee Shop in Perrysburg, OH trying to figure out what to order. I'm supposed to have decaf, which I'm stomaching, but not loving. Additionally, I had just done a quick workout, so I was hot and thirsty. I was asking the barista all kinds of questions about what she thought I could have that was cold, low-fat, no sugar, low calorie and yet tasted good. (I don't want much!) Luigina, basically was doing the same. Right away, we bonded! It was just too funny. She's an exercise nut, and while I can't call myself that yet, I am headed in that direction.

Without even beginning our official chat, we had found our level of commonality. And it was interesting to see how much more we shared with each other in the next hour. We were comfortable with each other.

Finding a common point of interest (or as Scott Ginsberg puts it, CPI) makes for a strong relationship that begs to be developed even further.

Thanks, Luigina, for not thinking I was crazy with all my food questions!

Hope or Fear?

2011-03-02T08:42:00.006-05:00

I was having a conversation with my friend, Don Kardux, about the reasons prospects might choose him to help them be more successful. Don owns Business Navigators, a long time, very successful, business consulting company. Don is not your usual stuffy type of consultant, in fact, he couldn't be any farther away from the word stuffy. He also uses a system he developed called Reverse Flow, where business owners listen to what their employees think are the best ways to "makes things better."

Don told me that he thinks business owners choose him because he represents hope. Now, I do think that might be part of the reason, but I do think underlying the hope is a big dose of FEAR!

Don is an expert in the Heating, Cooling and Ventilation industry segment and many of those businesses are family-owned. So here's my theory.

If the first generation is still at the helm, he's afraid that the business won't survive for the next generation.

If the second generation is now in charge, he's (or she's) afraid that he or she will take the business down and then what will everyone think???

Yes, Don does provide hope with his system, but really, fear is what fuels the decision to work with Business Navigators. At least that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it.

Part of a functioning word-of-mouth marketing plan is knowing what it is that makes your prospects choose you. Do you know what it is?

Are you sure?

Getting Jumped

2011-02-28T08:13:00.007-05:00

Somewhere in my reading in the past couple weeks, I read a wonderful comment by Ivan Misner, Founder and Chairman of BNI. He was at a large networking event and he asked everyone in the audience to raise their hand if they were planning to sell something that evening. Many people did. His next question was telling. He again asked for a show of hands for those who were planning to buy something. I'm sure you get the picture. No one raised their hand.

Hence the conundrum.

Networking vs. selling.

I had this life puzzle happen to me at a recent networking event. The group was large and I wanted to introduce myself to a couple people and reconnect with a couple others.

One person introduced herself to me as if she did not know me. She was one of the networkers that I wanted to reconnect with. OK, maybe I need to let go of my ego and realize that I'm not so memorable to everyone! I did nicely say that I remembered her from a certain event where we had met. Oh by the way, I was the keynote speaker at that event.

So if we measure the relationship here, I wasn't even on her radar screen. There was NO relationship.

But without even the blink of an eye, she looked at me and then asked me to buy from her.

J-u-s-t l-i-k-e t-h-a-t. I was so dumbfounded that I almost couldn't speak.

Since this was networking event, my plan at the beginning of the evening was not to buy but to connect. Also, I do business with people I KNOW, like and trust.

H-m-m-m! I guess her plan was different.

What would you have done in my place?

Why I do What I do

2011-01-31T21:07:00.004-05:00

Tom Fishburne, has hit the nail on the head again. His newest blog post is about company mission statements and it cracks me up. Tom bills himself as a marketoonist and his marketoons are great and yet they are even better because of his commentary.

In the Connext Nation, Referral Pursuit course, we help our students to get to the real why of what they do. Knowing that will help them each to have a REAL mission statement as opposed to one loaded with marshmallow fluff.

Read what Tom has to say about this whole mission statement thing here. The fourth paragraph of his post really rang true for me.

What about you?

When Will They Learn?????

2011-01-19T20:28:00.008-05:00

OK, I have to vent tonight.

Today I received a phone call from someone I have met briefly twice and each meeting was several years apart. The most recent time was in December when I spoke to a group and this person was in the audience.

You probably know where this is going. This person wanted to invite me to "an event."

When I asked what type of event it was, you guessed it, you smarty pants! It was a direct sales opportunity that he was sure I would be very interested in.

Now I don't know how he would think so, because both times we met the conversation stayed very much on him. He didn't ask me a lot of questions, so at this juncture, he certainly wouldn't have an idea of my wants or needs.

I don't like to malign direct sales companies, because there are some good ones out there, but I do want to pick a bone with the ones who suck people in and tell them that 1) they don't have to sell and 2) they just have to invite "friends" to partake of this wonderful opportunity. I also want to chew the same bone with companies that teach people to recruit using these relationship-less tactics.

There, I feel better.

Was it a Good Lunch?

2011-01-18T07:04:00.005-05:00

Recently a friend of mine, Tim Saddoris, asked me about a certain networking venue, Connect4Lunch. He wanted to know what I thought of it.

I told that I could not give him an opinion because I had never taken advantage of them. He said he was going to try it out and get back to me.

Several other people that I know had attended these monthly lunches, where four people are organized to one table in advance. I think each of the four knows who the other three are. I think it is up to the participants to replaces themselves if they can not attend. A couple people who had attended had given a thumbs down review because of boorish, overbearing behavior of another table mate.

But--drum roll, please.

Tim reports great success. He says that he met three other interesting people and he has an appointment with one and is connecting one to another organization. He said, "Overall, it was worth the $10.

If you have attended a Connect4Lunch event in your area, what has been you experience?

It's More Than Just an Alumni Association

2011-01-16T17:07:00.007-05:00

Recently I was asked to speak to the Owens Community College Alumni Association board. They know they want to be more effective at connecting with alumni when they are at events. Many on the board had the same feeling all of us do when it comes to introducing yourself to strangers, but we worked through that and I gave them some steps to help them feel more comfortable.

I applaud this group, because think about your alumni association. When do they call you? Only when they want money? And how do you feel about that?

If, instead your alumni association acted as a resource hub for all the grads, they would have all kinds of people banging on their door WANTING to pay their dues. As I see it, as a member of an alumni association, you are just a few steps away from your best connection. But if you don't know that connection or don't know how to gain the connection it's unlikely that a link will happen.

Of course the members have to be open to helping each other.

Maybe this is happening out there already, but if so, I'm not aware of it. Well, it is probably happening indirectly though social networking, but not right at the association level.

So, if you have made great connections because of your alumni association please comment and let us know.

Pass it On!

2011-01-15T09:26:00.008-05:00

Word-of-mouth marketing is about getting others to talk about you, not you talking about yourself. When others deliver your message, it is much more powerful and not so boring!

A great example of word-of-mouth marketing going viral in just my little sphere is CardCam, an app that can be downloaded to smart phones. CardCam uses the camera function of the phone to snap a photo of a business card to then instantly put that information into Google contacts. Nice! Sometimes it can be a little quirky, but I'm sure the programmers are working on making it even better. There is a free app, but for most of us we'd need to purchase and download the $12 app.

OK, don't leave yet. You can go get it when you finish reading this.

I first heard about it only two weeks ago at my Thursday morning BNI meeting, when A.J. Motter, AFLAC, told me about it. I immediately downloaded it. I next heard about it one week and one day later when it was brought up at a BNI Director meeting. The meeting actually got derailed for just a minute or two while we talked about it. I have had various conversations about it with several people. At BNI this week, Tim Saddoris, Infostream Solutions, our chapter educational coordinator gave an overview of it in the short educational presentation. I guess that perhaps more than 100 people in my sphere have heard about this application since I first heard about it. And now even more will.

Why did this message get passed on so easily?

1. Easy concise message (new app)
2. Easy to understand (takes picture of business cards and then enters them in your data base)
3. Useful
4. Twist on the old (business card scanner)
5. Inexpensive in relation to the value returned

So here's the question. What is it about you or your product/service that is so "talkable" that without you doing anything others will pass the message on for you?

Bump in the Middle of the NIght

2011-01-12T14:36:00.006-05:00

Several months ago our city closed some streets that intersected railroad tracks. The reasoning was that the train would not have to blow its whistle at the former intersections. I can imagine that was a relief to those people living near the "tracks."

Of course, a couple nights later, a young man tried to drive over the tracks and got stuck. Luckily the car was removed before a train came through. There are huge concrete barriers that the driver of the car had to circumvent in order to make his attempt. I'm sure you get the picture.

Which brings me to networking.

Have you ever watched someone at a networking event trying to just bully ahead - not having regard for guidelines and maybe even body language. It is an exercise in watching an accident about to happen. These people just don't seem to see the barriers that have been set in place. They just figure that they are invincible. Or maybe they don't even think. And if you happen to be the unlucky target you get stuck in networking h__l.

If you run into one of the obnoxious networkers, the only way to protect yourself is to turn these people in the other direction. You won't want to introduce them to your best friend, but you could send them to the food table!

Oh Those Fun Goals

2011-01-11T20:25:00.008-05:00

I've had several conversation with friends regarding goals in the last couple week. Hm-m-m, you'd think it was January or something!

In a couple of those chats we realized that the goals they had set were too global. Now don't get me wrong, I am one to shoot for the moon and would be even happier to get to another solar system. But in order to launch the rocket, all the little tasks that make up the larger targets, need to be identified and noted.

My friend, Linda Everhardt Kardux, VP of Business Navigators, would tell me that I can only address two or three tasks per day. She's probably right, but I always think I can do more. I like to have the thrill of checking items off! So that means I'm a huge advocate of smaller tasks, because of my need for instant gratification.

After talking with my two friends, they realized that they were already frustrated with their goals because they weren't making progress -- or it least it seemed to them that they weren't. But actually, they were, but they just didn't notice the slow movement forward.

One goal I have for this year is to learn how to do webinars -- good, interesting webinars. Personally I'm not sure that is possible, but I'm up for the attempt. My first step is completed. I called my friend Tami Norris to tell her that I want to hire her to help me learn this new technique.

Check!

Secrets of Success

2011-01-09T06:00:00.002-05:00

Many times I use the BNI member bio question of "The secret to your success is...?" as part of my introduction when I am about to give a talk ou t there in the real world. I have several answers to that question, but the one I use most often is 3-fold. It is:

Do the next thing
Make time for others
Fake it till I make it!

#2 is the one I want to focus on for this post.

Making time for others means that I don't get something else done. Having learned in my Bridges Out of Poverty (a whole 'nuther topic for another day) seminar that because I am part of the middle class, I am an achievement machine. That's how I measure my success personally. So that being said, I am at loggerheads with myself when I make time for others, because I don't get something else done. (I know, I know, meeting with someone can be getting something done.)

Getting something done for me is being able to check the "next thing" off my to-do list.

But here's what I have found out. (I'm a slow learner!) Many times, meeting with someone will either automatically get something else done or help me to get do it in the future. Let me give you a couple examples.
I met with old friend Mary Ann Mills. She and I know each other through Women's Council of Realtors of which I am an affiliate member. In the past year because of schedule conflicts I have not been very well connected with the group. Just a short meeting with Mary Ann helped me to understand that I can do some things that will help with this connection.

I met with Tina Roth, a BNI member who asked for my help in getting her ten minute presentation prepared. I teach this training for BNI but it's not on the schedule to be offered again very soon. That old voice inside my head was telling me all the stuff I should be doing to help put people into my upcoming courses, instead of meeting with Tina. But because of #2, I did. And at that meeting, Tina gave me her registration form to be in my course.

The path to my success is truly not very straight, but if I follow the three tenets that I use for my speech introductions, success meanders my way.

What's your key to success?

How to Be Boring in the New Year!

2011-01-08T15:46:00.007-05:00

I met with someone recently who shall remain nameless, but we'll call her Alice just to make this post easier to understand.

One of Alice's resolutions for the new year is to visit a certain number of current clients per month. I asked her, "What will you do when you visit them?"

"Well," she said, "I'm going to tell them everything new about us and some of the old stuff too, because client's forget."

O-0-0- Baby!

I'm sure glad I'm not her client!

While it is important to keep clients up to date about your "stuff" it is even more important to find out about their "stuff."

So, for those of you who need to catch up with your clients, view them as resource for other clients in your network. Find out what each client has to offer so that when one of your clients need that product or service, you know where to send them.

I know, I know. When you do get to talk about you?

When they ask about you is the best time. They will really listen then. But if they don't, ask for their advice. Say, "We have a new offering and I'd like to hear your feedback on how you think I should market it in the best way."

In this way, they are engaged and thinking instead of wondering when and how they can get you to stop talking!

What's your advice on this issue?

"You Won't Believe......."

2011-01-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

CHANGE

No one is very comfortable with it.

But I think we need to keep in mind that without change our world probably would not exist today. The dinosaurs might have taken over the world and eaten until there was no food and then died. Pretty awesome thought.

So in the past couple days several people I've chatted with have had the gloom and doom mantra.

Now, I would not ever be called Pollyanna, but I do like to look on the bright side of things. My son, Greg Peters, has worked very hard to get me to that place. I just like to look forward. If there is a hitch in the git along, then my forward motion helps me to figure out another way to approach.

So for those who want to bring me down. Forget it. Call me the ostrich with my head in the sand, but so be it. But my theory is that you can either be a whiner or be a doer.

Which one are you?

Friends Make My World Go 'round

2011-01-06T06:00:00.001-05:00

I have been making a concentrated effort to meet with clients in the past couple months to connect with them and to find out what's going on with them. I also want share the great news about the launch of Connext Nation.

It has been a wonderful time.

My clients have exciting things happening for them. They are starting new businesses, leading seminars, changing their focus, meeting new people and generally evolving, just as I am.

I left one of those meeting yesterday with my friend, Lisa Bachmayer, saying to myself, "Why don't I make time to do this more often?" It is a great lesson for me. Lisa gave me some great advice on a business etiquette issue that I had been deliberating over. And once she gave me the advice, the answer seemed just so logical.

Sometimes (or maybe it is all the time) I get tunnel vision trying to meet with prospects to fill my classes. So this year I want to make sure I do make time to keep my wonderful friends in my life. It will make my life richer in so many ways.

Boring WOM

2011-01-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

I have a Google alert set for "Word-of-Mouth" to make sure I am reading as much as I can about what others are saying about word-of-mouth marketing. (Nothing like word-of-mouth about word-of-mouth!)

Recently the president of the board a health insurance company in Pennsylvania used a comment from Andy Sernovitz, author of "The Word of Mouth Marketing Guy," to justify his braggadocio article about how wonderful he and his company are.

As I read through the lengthy article, I kept thinking, "this guy doesn't get it. This is not W-O-M, but just out and out PR on his own part."

Now that W-O-M has hit the mainstream, it is being so misunderstood. I guess there are some out there that think the term means for them to talk more about themselves.

So here's the deal folks. In my humble opinion, if you're talking about yourself it's not W-O-M and what it could be is BORING!

W-O-M is spreading the word about others and this is where Andy 'Sernovitz' quote comes to light.

"The one truth about word of mouth is that the truth always rises to the surface. The truth about your company, products, services and people is all that matters now."

So you out there, if you're talking about yourself, please make it true, interesting and short. And then turn back to me. Cause that's what it's all about!

Cuppa' Joe Became More

2011-01-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

In December I provided training for BNI members in the Findlay, OH area. It's always a marathon for me as I do both the 3 hour Membership Success Program and an Advanced training segment that is 90 minutes in length in the same day. Between the two I have a 15 minute break.

The December session started at 3 PM, so by the time I was ready to begin Advanced Training it was 6:15. Now, just so you know, I had put a full day in already, leaving my house at shortly after 7 AM to get to my first appointment.

But I sailed through that last training. Let me tell you why!

One chapter member was registered for both sessions. Between the two, he drove to a nearby McDonald's restaurant and got enough coffee "to go" for everyone who was registered to attend and for me, too! Did the caffeine really help me? Maybe. But what I think really helped was the feeling that I got from someone being thoughtful. He explained that it was just good marketing as far as he was concerned!

I have kept this act of kindness in mind ever since that night and want to become as thoughtful as he was. Sometimes I get tunnel vision -- getting the job at hand done. Well, maybe more accurately I should say, all the time I get tunnel vision! One goal for this year is to widen that tunnel to allow me to think "outside the thoughtful box!"

Any advice?

Stick Your Hands Up and Give Me Everything You've Got

2011-01-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

Weird phone call.

It was the last day of the year and to be real honest, I was in Big Lots trying to find a cheap glass cake cover. So there you have it!

My cell phone rang and I answered thinking it might be a friend. Instead it was a gentleman who had read my ad in the local business paper.

Here's what he said, "(No introduction) Hi, I saw your ad in the paper and wanted to buy you coffee so I can connect into your network." Now this is one reason that I don't do a lot of advertising. My course is difficult to explain in one little block of advertising real estate.

So I answered this man by asking him if he was intersted in a course about networking. "No, I just want to connect with people in your network."

Oh, so I was getting it. I thought he thought I was connected to BNI, as I am. "No, I'm a home re-modeler and I want to connect to your network. I have been a trusted re-modeler to the rich and famous and now the business isn't so good and I want to connect with your network."

Now, remember, I don't even know this guy's name yet.

So being the nice person I am, I offered to accept his offer of coffee and that I would be happy to see if there would be ways that I might help him.

He deferred.

He said that he'd think about it and call me back.

I'm thinking he wanted me to give him some name right over the cell phone. Ha!

Before I hung up, I said, "So that I will recognize you if you call back, could you give me your name?"

Talk about rushing the relationship!

That one took the cake on the last day of the year!

And no, I didn't find the cake cover.

2011-01-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

Something interesting has happened.

Those of you who read this blog might remember that our beloved yellow Lab, Gable, died this year. Now we are left with just one dog, Owen, a liver and white, Springer Spaniel.

At one time Owen was a member of a four dog pack, and was definitely #4 in the pecking order. He was an obnoxious little pest, always wanting MORE attention. In Gable's last years, Owen tried to take over as top dog, barking and growling at Gable. Even in his weakest moments, Gable just brushed aside all this nonsense.

Well, guess what. Now that Owen is top dog and is an only dog, he is quite fun. I actually am beginning to like him. He still needs more than enough attention, but I guess he's making up for lost time. Now that I get to focus on him, he is a better dog.

Or is it more about my attitude?

It sort of parallels a business friend relationship that evolved over the last year. I had always kept this person at arm's length, but because of a couple situations, I spent more individual time with this person. And you guessed it, I now want to spend more time with this person.

A good lesson for me. Taking the relationship deeper in both instances meant that I gained more in the end.

Tell me about a situation where this happened for you.

Networking Conumdrum

2011-01-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

This week I met with Julie Bankert, who established a bookkeeping business in 2010. Julie has lots of talent and experience, but what she has found challenging was having to get out and sell herself.

Isn't that a universal problem that many business owners face in the early days (and for some, every day) of our businesses?

Julie has pushed herself in the nine months she's been offering her services. Now, she asked me a very insightful question. She expressed, "I don't know how to focus all this networking and don't know what networking I should be doing." Additionally, she smiled her sparkly blue eyes and said, "I can't figure out how to get all my work done, too!"

I was impressed that Julie was asking these questions because sometimes people don't take a step back and become more organized with their networking. They just go and go and go.

In our conversation I explained to Julie that it's all about establishing a clearly defined target market, because once she knows who her best prospects are, then she can hang out and network where they network. Easy.

What would your advice be to Julie?

Word-of-Mouth Easy Button

2010-12-31T09:23:00.007-05:00

Recently I was read an article that posed the question, "I have a new website. How do I create "word-of-mouth" business?"

I had to smile because so many think that they can push the "easy" button to create this viral marketing method. Now, I am not taking anything away from the advertising and marketing pros who have all kinds of good methods to gain more visibility. Those techniques are important for all of us to know.

But word-of-mouth is what someone else does for you. For the most part you can't control it.

I do have some thoughts on how to get it started and keep it going.

1. First and foremost have something that is worth talking about. Whether it is your product/service or something you've done that garners attention. And be aware, negative news is much more enticing to pass on.

2. It's easier to ask others to pass on the word about you if you lead the way first. I have to laugh each time I get a request via Linkedin that asks me to provide a recommendation. It's one of those things that I'll get to later. BUT, if someone has voluntarily recommended me in the past, you can bet, that I'll hop to writing a testimonial to repay the favor. That old guilt thing is remarkable!

3. Become the center of the universe. Be the person who posts events, comments or other "stuff" about your friends and business acquaintances. My friend, David Trisel does this really, really well. If your site is the go to site for finding out all the information about people in your network, then guess what? You have established your presence in the word-of-mouth marketing arena, too.

So to answer the question above, "it's not about you, but about how you act in the whole networking genre."

What's your take on this?

Acquired Credibility

2010-10-13T07:23:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I had a networking appointment with someone who had called me. In his phone conversation he said that "a banker had given him my name." He didn't name the banker and he also shared that he had started a new business after a long career in banking. The new focus happens to be a multi-level marketing company.

I agreed to meet with reservations. I really didn't want to be sold to for an hour, but I am not shy about stopping people from doing that, so I agreed.

You're expecting the worst, aren't you???

Well, I was too and we were both wrong.

As I walked in to the coffee shop, a unknown-to-me gentleman was talking with a very good friend of mine, Jason Madasz. It turns out that the two of them were acquainted and Jason gave the indication of "OKness."

In the end, this gentleman did not sell obnoxiously, but asked for help and advice on how to network appropriately. I explained how it was easier to have others introduce him to prospects because he received "acquired credibility." I call it the AC factor. In this instance, Jason's credibility with me, made me even more open to the new person. I knew Jason wouldn't risk his relationship with me by selling me up the river with an obnoxious person.

We all have the AC factor and it is a valuable tool to give or to use. Those new to sales just need to know about it!

Bigger Than Life

2010-09-18T07:33:00.004-04:00

This week, we talked about target market in class and how once you know who your target market is then you know who can refer you to your prospects.
Several people in the class had very similar target demographics, that being women in the 40 - 60 age bracket. I asked Certified Networker student, Stas' Krukowski, sales person for Yark Automotive, if women of that age purchase sports cars. He said, "No, Debby, you are different than most with your Mini, because most women want an SUV."

I informed Stas', that my Mini has the Jack Russell mentality. It thinks it is a SUV!

I guess you had to be there!

Cookie Monsters

2010-09-17T19:12:00.005-04:00

Today I taught the fourth session of the Certified Networker class in Findlay, OH. We had just started the second half of the class when a bag of cookies was delivered to us from the local coffee shop, Coffee Amici. You can imagine the comments around the table. "Wow! Is she ever a smart marketer." I had to agree, that co-owner of the shop, Lynne Calvelage is a very creative marketer.

After class, I dropped over to the shop to thank Lynne for her very special gift.

This is what I found out.

While the cookies did come from the coffee shop, they were ordered anonymously by someone else. Lynne said that she couldn't tell who they were from, but that it was a good friend of mine.

While I'd like to be able to thank the person, I am OK with that person remaining nameless. What it does is to make me smile about several different people in my life and to think about how remarkable they are. Also, if you think about it, this person also made Lynne look good, by ordering the cookies from the shop. All the way around, it was a really, really thoughtful gift. It touched many many people in a very positive way.

When was the last time you were able to make such a splash with a gift?

Waiting and Waiting and Waiting

2010-09-08T09:20:00.007-04:00

Recently I was introduced to a new person at a networking event. To make it easier I will call this person Jon. I was interested in what Jon does, so I asked if he would like to meet for coffee so I could find out more. He agreed and the appointment was set.

The day arrived and I had scheduled an appointment before and one afterJon. I'm sure you know where I'm going with this -- he stood me up. And of course, I had not yet had time to enter the information from his card into my system, so there I was with no way to call him. I just had to cool my heels.

A couple days later - 4 to be exact - as I was reviewing my week, I realized that I had not heard from Jon. Now, I was worried that I was the one who made the mistake and had kept Jon waiting for me someplace else or some day else. Falling on my sword, I emailed an apology to Jon.

What came back was a little puzzling. No, it was not my fault. His schedule had gotten changed and he was not able to keep the appointment.

And he waited almost a week to tell me that?????

I'm sure he is a very nice person, but Jon has dug a very deep hole for himself. His credibility with me is zero -- and that is being nice.

What's your thought on this. Am I being too harsh?

Referral Rates

2010-09-04T13:26:00.008-04:00

As members of referral sharing groups, we all want to have the thrill of passing referrals each time the group meets. What is challenging is to figure out how to develop those very referrals.

Here are five ideas that might contribute to the solution of this problem:

1. Take notes of the referral requests each week. My brain is a sieve, so I would not remember what everyone wanted without my written notes. Also, what is really important to observe is that those members who are specific in their requests make it easier for you to help them.

2. Set an appointment with yourself outside of the meeting time each week to review and to react to the requests. It is my experience that I can develop two or three qualified referrals by doing this. Just think if everyone did it!

3. While you may not know the person your member wants to connect with, someone in your network might. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Reassure this person that if they lend a hand that your member will make them look good.

4. Use social media to develop referrals. Tim Saddoris, owner of Info Stream Solutions, gives this suggestion. If you don't know the name of the owner of a company, you can find out. Open the Google browser. Type in "(business name)" owner. For example it would look like this; "ABC Auto Parts" owner. If this person is mentioned in websites, blogs or periodicals, the name will show up. This is especially helpful when your member makes a more general request.

5. Sometimes websites will list the names of all the staff of an organization. If you don't know the top person, scan through to find out who you do know. Make a connection with this person and ask if they would be willing to help. Going in the side or back door might be the only way to gain the referral.

The above five steps are guaranteed to turn you into a hero in your referral group. And then you can encourage each member to employ the same five steps so that they can help you more easily.

Any other suggestions?

The End of a Run

2010-08-27T07:34:00.005-04:00

Our wonderful yellow Lab, Gable, died yesterday around 4 PM. I am very sad. He was truly my most very favorite of our six dogs that we've had. He always had quiet dignity (unless he was chasing down something that didn't belong in our yard!)

The other three dogs that lived with him over the years knew that they could run out or swim out after the Frisbee but they absolutely could NOT touch it. That was Gable's job and no dog should ever think otherwise.

Gable was named after Dan Gable, an Olympic wrestler, because of his tendency to trip other dogs by reaching around in front of their leg and tripping them as a wrestler would. In this photo from awhile ago, he is "smiling." Something he did when we would say, "Gable, are you a bad dog?" He loved veggies. The only food he didn't eat recently was an offered basil leave which he spit out. Carrots and green beans were his favorites and I had to fence both of those crops to keep him out.

I miss him, but know that he was just barely holding on. His weight while once a proud 95 muscular pounds had plummeted to 61. He was skeletal. I asked doc Martin how old a 16 year old dog was in people years and he said that it was off the chart so that we could be proud of how well we had taken care of him for him to last that long. That and probably very good genes.

There is a big hole in my heart. On the relationship scale he was at the very top.

Hidden Rules of the Game

2010-08-24T13:32:00.009-04:00

The other day my husband mentioned that a new person had attended their "in the garage," (read, man cave) ever-so-often, poker game. He said that he doubted this new person would ever be invited back. I couldn't imagine why that would be so. After all, there is plenty of belching and f__ting going on during the play. Oh no, it was not rude behavior. No, the rule broken, was that this newbie won. Yep, you got it, he took their money.

I guess there is an unspoken rule that you don't do that when you are new. I don't know what you do when you're having a winning streak, but I guess you're just supposed to play badly. But no one clued this person in to the secret.

Which takes me to my favorite topic - networking! Think of the organizations you belong to. What do they do to help your visitors know the secrets of the meeting? What riddles do your guests need to solve in order to be part of the "in" group? Do you banish these visitors when they don't follow code or do you help them?

In my world, the definition of networking is helping others to feel comfortable. What's yours in relation to the above story?

'Toonly Different

2010-08-23T17:14:00.008-04:00

I read a great post from Tom Fishburne this morning. You can read the whole article here, but basically Tom wrote about how some cartoonists draw for just a narrow audience, giving an example of one who draws cartoons that would only make sense to people who are Unix programmers. Now I gotta' tell you, the only reason I even know the word Unix is because I have a son in that world of funny computer words. (He is also a blogger in the networking world and I guess that could make him unique in that he is a computer guy and can form and maintain relationships, too!)

Tom went on to tell that he in fact saw a Unix flavored cartoon when someone stood up at one of his presentations and had the 'toon printed on his t-shirt.

Of course my thoughts took a jump at that point. A foundation of the course I teach is helping my students to figure out what is unique about them; what sets them aside from the rest of the pack. Recently several of my students were asked what cereal box or magazine cover they might appear on and WHY. But even better, I think, would be, "What about you or what you do would be worthy of a t-shirt?"

Any answers? Remember it's got to be different.

Sharing You!

2010-07-27T07:25:00.007-04:00

In the past several months I have created a tool that networkers can use to objectively measure the relationships they enjoy with others. It has been an eye-opener for me!

The middle section is all about personal details that I would know about the other person and conversely, they would know about me. What I have found out is that I don't share personal details! I am now trying to get better that that because I know those details add to the depth of the relationship, but this is not easy for me.

Yesterday, I attended a networking lunch (The WEN lunch meeting at LaScola) with my 10 year old granddaughter, Kaitlyn, who is staying with me for the week. Those who were introduced to her asked what we were doing this week and we were able to share that we'd been able to sink the kayak, played lots of card games and we were going to the fabric store after the meeting so I could help K learn to sew.

Some comments were: "Oh, I didn't know you had a pond." "Oh, I don't even know how to play Backgammon." "Really, Debby, you know how to sew???"

It occur ed to me that Kaitlyn was not only my front porch (Power of Approachability by Scott Ginsberg) but she was also the bridge for getting information about myself to others. While I am usually VERY uncomfortable talking about myself, it was easy to talk about our fun experiences.

In thinking about this, it goes back to why horntooting is so important. When you are willing to share something important about yourself with your networking pals, they then have the opportunity to use that info when they are introducing you to another person. They are the bridge for your details and you don't have to talk about yourself.

Who is your bridge?

Couldn't Have Said it Better

2010-07-12T16:58:00.006-04:00

Yeah, it takes another blogger's post to sometimes waken the sleeping Debby!

Tom Fishburne is a favorite of mine. He says and draws so succinctly what others can't even begin to explain. In today's post, Tom talks about brand archtypes, but really he's talking about how big companies use a process to determine who they are going to sell to.

Since we help our students in the Certified Networker course to do the same thing (sometimes kicking and screaming!) these couple sentences in Tom's post resonated with me.

"Without narrowing, a brand is trying to be all things to all people. It ends up standing for nothing. When brands stand for nothing, the only way it can compete is on price. " (I have bolded and enlarged the last sentence.)

We help our students to network less, by being clear about who they are selling to. When they know that, then they know where to network.

Any comments????

Handy Networking Tool

2010-06-16T07:44:00.005-04:00

During our course, Certified Networker, we encourage our students to have their networking tools with them at all times. Contained on that list is a supply of business cards, your calendar, a pen for notes and of course a name tag.

In my last post I talked about how one to one meetings are a mainstay of the BNI conference and that most attendees know NOT to interrupt two people who are sitting and chatting. At this conference I did experience several interruptions. Don't know why, but they did happen.

I got to thinking that maybe one more networking tool is needed. Perhaps each person needs some sort of a portable sign, like a table tent, that announces, "One to one in progress, please do not interrupt." Sort of like the "Baby on Board" signs!

Just a thought......

Getting to Know You

2010-06-13T20:00:00.006-04:00

I am back from the BNI 25th Annual National Conference. What a wonderful 4 days of information and relationship continuation.

BNI fosters relationship development at their conferences by building time for one-to-one meetings right into the schedule. Instead of the word "break" (there are just a few of those) the unstructured time line of the conference program lists blanks for writing in the appointments we have with other conference attendees. It's a reminder to fill our book! Many people start these one-to-one meetings at 6 AM in order to get to all the people they want to meet.

There is also an understanding that if you see two people sitting and chatting, that you are NOT to interrupt them. This works really well because it means that these important conversations are not interrupted and the time spent is well-spent. We also ask each other when the appointments are scheduled what the topic of conversation is going to be. This is not to say that personal information is ignored entirely, but that the meetings are focused.

I have been to other types of conferences in the past, but I have never been involved with another group that fosters the building of relationships as well as BNI does.

What is your experience at your conferences?

Social Media Provides Connections

2010-06-07T05:07:00.000-04:00

New BNI member, Tim Saddoris, Infostream Solutions, shared how we might produce even more referrals using Linkedin. He explained that if our members make a specific request for a company, that we can research the company using a Linkedin feature. Those employees of the company listed with Linkedin will appear along with their title AND the people you have in common with them. Wow!

I can tell you that with one attempt, I was able to make a connection for a referral request that had been asked for several times in the past, but I never knew that I had that connection that I could ask for help.

Social Media is more than just a listing!

Learning Experience

2010-06-06T09:53:00.005-04:00

OK, I'm about ready to head out to the National BNI Conference in Pittsburgh this week. BNI really encourages the participants of the conference to have one-to-one meetings with each other to share knowledge and ideas. Some people are very effieicent with getting these appointment set up in advance. Hmmmm, I'm guess I'm not one of them.

I do have one solid appointment and two maybees. But I am just going to approach this differently this time. I am going to schedule with those who I know nothing about and see what I can learn from them, instead of having a preconceived notion of who I should meet with.

It's a little scary doing it this way, but I'll let you know how it turns out.

Goals; Part II

2010-05-22T06:00:00.005-04:00

A little over a week ago, I was honored to speak for the vendors of the Tuscarawas County Chamber of Commerce Business Expo.

Jill McCartney, President/CEO of the chamber, asked me to help the vendors be more successful with the ideas I presented in my talk.

Of course, this may have been a little late, since I was presenting at their vendor lunch just before the doors opened. But better late than never.

One thought I gave them was to establish goals for what they wanted to achieve for the show. (Does this sound like a broken record?) As all 50 or so exhibitors listened, I knew this idea was a new concept for most. To help get the idea into action, I asked for a few volunteers who would be willing to share their newly formulated goals with the rest of the group.

Guess what?

Two out of the three who volunteered had other vendors stand up and extend their business cards, because they already could be of help in reaching the goals.

So vendors, set and share your goals. I think you'll be surprised at how helpful everyone can be.

And then share you story with us in the comments.

Ya' Just Never Know

2010-05-21T09:27:00.008-04:00

Those in my network joke about how "Debby tends to suck them in to projects." I smile because I learned this from the best, Lori Cannon, longtime friend and excellent Edward Jones representative.

Anyway, recently, I asked three friends if they would donate about 1 1/2 hours of their time on a Sunday morning at the end of the Girl Scout Camp CEO weekend. What these three friends had to do was to act as the investor panel, determining which of the four "fictitious" businesses they would chose to invest in.The girls really benefit from this because the panel members gave the girls feedback on their project ideas and plans and also their presentation skills.

Yesterday, I saw one of the three, Beth Sigg. I had just spoken for the Women's Council of Realtors of which Beth is the president. Beth owns both Northwest Real Estates Services, Inc and Northwest Appraisal Company. After I completed my talk, Beth joked with the crowd about getting "sucked in by Debby." But she also added, "Debby doesn't even know this, but as a result of the short volunteer effort at Camp CEO, I got a call from one of the other panel members who wanted to list a commercial building with me and also got a call from one of the other people in attendance who wants to list her house."

Beth said, "So getting recruited by Debby was certainly profitable!" That made me smile!

Look Out, Here We Come!

2010-05-07T05:44:00.003-04:00

Back in the winter I met Anne Fleming, owner of Womendrivers.com at a conference. She and I just kind of connected. I like that she is willing to be unique and like even more that she is providing a wonderful platform for women drivers.

In the big girl world where we either have to or want to purchase our own vehicles, many of us find the dealership floor not very friendly.

For me that is not the case now that I have met Stas' Krukowski at the Yark Dealership in Toledo, Ohio. He is great!

So you can go to Anne's site to rate your experience at a dealership (good or bad), find out about various cars (Anne does a her and his review that is really interesting) and she just provides a platform for women (and men) to navigate the world of buying vehicles. You can also see Anne's favorite books (The title, "Peace, Love and Lemonade," makes me want to put it on my reserve list at the library right away!)

Another aspect of Anne's site is spotlighted articles about the business world. I am honored to be one of those chosen to be published on her site.

Check out this site to see the value Anne Fleming is adding to the mix!

Goal Update

2010-05-06T06:00:00.004-04:00

At the recent Annual Women's Entrepreneurial Network (WEN) Trade Show, my goals were to schedule 3 paid and 6 gratis speaking engagements. Did I achieve my goal?

No, I didn't.

But let me tell you what has happened since then.

One gratis engagement was scheduled just before the trade show, because I had talked about my goals in advance. Thank you, Jason Conklin!

One person has asked me about a possible speaking engagement since the event as a result of seeing my goals displayed at my booth. Thank you, Amy Cameron!

Then yesterday, I met with Kim Cira. who I had reconnected with at the show, had read this blog in preparation for our meeting. My goals were written about in one recent post. As a result she came to the meeting with three speaking engagement ideas that she wanted to run by me to see if I wanted those types. With my nod, she is going forward to see how she can get me hooked up.

So I don't know if you're counting, but I am and that leads me to five possible speaking engagements so far.

Wonder what the number would be if I hadn't first set the goal and then published and announced those goals to the world?

Pieces of Naught

2010-05-05T07:35:00.006-04:00

While visiting my friend, Deanna Tucci Schmitt, last week in Pittsburgh, we got up very early on Thursday morning to go to a BNI Visitor Day. This was for a chapter that Deanna is the executive director for.

Several hours later, I received a "spam" email from one of the guests who attended that morning. It was obvious that this person didn't listen during the presentation. At one point everyone in attendance is asked to stand and exchange business cards with other guests for just one minute. In my opinion the only reason that exercise is included is to get people active after they have been sitting and listening for awhile. But what do I know!

Later the person leading the session asks, "What do you think these cards represent?"

The correct answer is "just pieces of paper" because there is no relationship attached to them. BNI is about developing relationships so that members feel comfortable referring their best clients to each other. They would not refer a best client to someone they just met.

So the person who sent me the "buy from me" spam missed the whole concept. Also, since I live four hours away from Pittsburgh, it wouldn't be likely for me to do business with him.

And I'm sure that he felt satisfied that day when he had finished entering the names and addresses from ALL those cards into his system so he could send the email out.

Wonder if he got anyone else to bite?

Awkward Moment

2010-04-22T06:52:00.006-04:00

Some thoughts from recent networking events.

This is the time of year for BNI's Visitor Extravaganzas. Ever the efficient organization, BNI has a structured approach to helping chapters to gain more members during this time. The members of each chapter focus on inviting a lot of qualified member prospects for one focused day.

I have attended a couple of these within the last couple weeks. Both were very successful. The members should pat themselves on their backs.

Here's something I observed.

It was obvious to me that one visitor was there to sell his stuff. He had even set up a small display to demonstrate. When I chatted with him, he "threw up" all over me about what his new-fangled stuff could do. Additionally, during the sit-down part of the meeting when a formal presentation was being delivered, right in the middle of it, he packed up his stuff and left. My first knee jerk reaction was to judge him. "Stupid networker." But then with a little more thought I realized that perhaps the person who invited him had not told him how the meeting would proceed. Perhaps this gentleman had another appointment. Who knows? What I do know that a room full of people experienced him being rather "out-of-step" with the behavior that was expected from guests. What was their knee-jerk reaction?

This is a good lesson for me. I probably have not been as thoughtful as needed when inviting guests to any networking meeting. From now on I will at least give a brief summary of what will happen so my guest can make a great impression.

Ya' Get What Ya' Say

2010-04-16T05:03:00.002-04:00

This week I attended two energetic BNI visitor days. I was proud of both chapters for all the work they put into the event to create the forum for success. What really surprised me was a comment that I received at the end of one of the events.

I complimented a member about how well they had done. The comment back to me was that, "Yeah, maybe we'll get a couple new members from this. We have a real comfortable group already."

Now mind you, the membership committee already had 7 applications in hand just several minutes after the event ended and several more were being completed.

If I read between the lines, I suspect that the member's comment was a nice way of saying, "I really don't want any new members, because that would put me out of my cozy little cocoon."

What it also says to me is that this person is probably a little lazy. This person doesn't want to have to extend the effort to develop new relationships. This person, probably is a marginal member too, giving just enough to stay beneath the radar.

And that is purely supposition.

But that's my take and I'm stickin' to it.

Trade Show Success

2010-04-15T16:41:00.007-04:00

With the Women's Entrepreneurial Network's April 26 annual trade show just ahead, the question we should be asking is "How can I best use my networking skills to make the best of the offering?" As an exhibitor we want to plan for success.

Many business people blindly fork over hard earned cash for booth space without a thought about what they want to achieve as a result of both the financial and time outlay.

Set a goal for what you want to achieve. As we learned with the Certified Netwo rker training, the more specific you can be the better. So for example say, "I want to schedule four appointments with possible prospects as a result of this day-long event," instead of just, "I want to get more business."

Publish those goals! Create a sign for your booth that will let everyone know what you are attempting. Then each person will be able to read your message and might be able to help.

Invite people from your networks. This might be the easiest way to get prospects to see you in action. Also, since the WEN trade show is free to attend, it can be a good way to reward referral sources.

Create your follow-up system before the event. Timely connections will mean all the difference between success and the waste of time. If you are going to send everyone who came to your booth a postcard, you'll need to have that piece ready before the event. SendOutCards.com will allow you to create a card that you can then send later. Check with Certified Networkers Sharon Czarny or Kris Downey to see how it can be done.

Have something that bring people to your booth, but also be able to qualify prospects. Certified Networker, David Trisel, graf-X-cape, limited his expensive giveaways at a recent show by having people play a game at his booth. It also gave him a longer time to talk with them while they were trying to be a winner.

Ask for business card of the people you want to talk to later. Being selective means fewer contacts to follow up with. The time you do spend with the ones you want will be time well spent.

Know the types of people your other booth neighbors want to meet. When someone is not right for you, you may be able to walk the person to someone else.

See ya' on the 26th. Come wee what my goals are!

It's All About Me

2010-03-30T09:00:00.005-04:00

A week or so ago I ran into a person I had not seen in a long time. This person is an acquaintance, not a friend.

This person is doing something new. Ask me how I know.

Thanks for asking!

He said, "Let me tell you what I'm doing," as he whipped out his business card and also a little promo piece that told about his company. "Come see me to get a discount on this service before the end of the month."

I'm sorry. Why do people think they can just throw up on others?

Not a question from him about what I was doing. Not a question from him as to how I was doing. Not a question from him as to what is going on in my life.

It was all about him.

Am I being too judgmental? I just wanted to turn and run.

Monkeys

2010-03-24T07:02:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I attended the Milestones luncheon, the annual event that acknowledges seven top women in the community. Ann Baker, Director of the Toledo Zoo was one of those recognized. Ann's acceptance speech was very short and to the point AND so very right on.

Early in her career, she studied monkeys. She related that when male monkey approach adolescence, they leave the group and move from group to group. Just the opposite the young females stay with their group. Ann said, "Their success is directly related to the relationships they can build within the group. Those that do it better are more successful." She smiled and said that she thinks that's very indicative of today's women who make connections and builds those bridges.

Thanks, Ann, for the reminder of what is important.

It Made Me Laugh

2010-03-20T10:06:00.010-04:00

I have been wanting to write about this for some time, but just haven't had to time. My apologies to my readers!

In the course that I teach (Certified Networker) one tenet taught in the class is that if you don't have a clear-cut target market or market segment that you won't know where to network. These scattered people tend to attend all kinds of networking events, getting more and more tired without any return on their investment of time. They may be heard to say, "Networking doesn't work for me."

The other day I was at a networking event where a new student of Certified Networker was also attending. She had two sessions of the 12 week series under her belt. In the past she would have told me that she sold to anyone, that each and every person in the world needed her services.

Here is the conversation I overheard. (OK, I was eavesdropping!)

Cindy asking a question of another networker, "So what do you do?"

Jim replied, "Well, we do this and this and this and this and this and this......" (I think you get the idea that each "this," was a very different offering to many equally different market segments.)

Cindy looked Jim straight in the eye and said, "So you haven't identified who your best prospect is?????"

I had to turn away because I didn't want either of them see me laughing. Poor Jim didn't know what had happened to him. But my bigger smile was about Cindy. Just like a former smoker, she is now the foremost proponent of having a target market!

I guess you just had to be there.

The Host With the Most

2010-03-10T09:27:00.007-05:00

In the past week or so, I have attended several networking events.

What's new, right?

Well, here is my insight that seems to be so obvious.

Two of the many that I attended stand out. And they stand out for less than wonderful reasons.

At both, the host of the event did NOT welcome people with a big smile.

I felt like an intruder at both occasions. And I was an invited guest to both.

I know that in the past I have been accused of having a poker face. I have to actively work on making sure my smile is part of my make-up.

The lesson here for all of us is to set the other concerns of the world aside for that few minutes we need to show people that we are happy they are attending our event. If not, we can be sure we won't have to be the host in the future because we won't have guests.

Life is a Surprise

2010-02-22T18:55:00.009-05:00

I would never have guessed that our almost 16 year old dog would outlive one of the younger ones, but that is how it went down today.
Dillion II, our Springer Spaniel, died today around 2 PM. He was 11 years old. He had been in constant pain for about a week and we made the decision over the weekend. We know that it was the right decision because he was so incredibly unhappy and
sick.

We will remember all the good stuff about this dog: the fact that he would sit in front of Steve staring at him in devotion; or that if Steve was in the hammock, there should be room for Dillion, too; or that Dillion also liked to ride in the kayak trying to kiss me right on the lips when both of my hands were busy paddling. He liked to play Frisbee, but he never picked it up, instead giving way to his elder, Gable. We got Dillion and his brother, Owen, to replace Steve's first Dillion. We think that the day we put Dillion I down is the day the new Dillion was born.

It is quiet around here tonight, but it is better not to hear Dillion moaning. I'm sure he is happier.

Product Design and Target Marketing

2010-02-22T08:22:00.004-05:00

Tom Fishburne has done it again.

While his cartoon below is actually about the lack of innovation in product design, it also demonstrates the concept of having too broad of a target market.

To network effectively, business people must narrow their focus. You can't be everything to everyone nor can you be everywhere all the time!

Also, without become an expert for some segment, you look exactly like all the other people who are selling what you sell. It makes it difficult for your consumer (customer) to decide why they should buy from you rather than just blindly picking "off the shelf." Also, you have to be a gerbil on the wheel trying to network where everyone is rather than selectively picking out the right places to be.

What's your take on this?

Does Your Dealership Speak YOUR Language?

2010-02-10T15:38:00.005-05:00

Last week at the International Networking Day event in Pittsburgh, I met Anne Fleming, the dynamic owner of Women-Drivers.com. This is a website that among other things, rates dealerships as to how friendly they are to women.

Cool idea, right?

The website is just chock full of fun stuff and information. There is a test you can take to find out your negotiating personality. I am a Bold Babe! It says I like colorful clothing and probably the same in cars. Surprise, surprise -- my YELLOW Mini is a fav of mine!

There's also His and Her car reviews for the same car. They cracked me up because of what was important to the guy as opposed to what was mentioned in the gal review.

Check out this site and if you've visited a dealership recently, go ahead and perform a review.

Zip Ze Lips

2010-02-09T14:56:00.007-05:00

A few days ago I was preparing for a sales seminar that I am delivering this week. I rarely teach about sales these days, preferring to focus on word-of-mouth marketing, but this is a favor for my friend John Bauer, Director of the Bluffton Center for Entrepreneurs.

One aspect of the training will focus on the act of information gathering. The same day I worked on this presentation, I also introduced one of my networking contacts to another. I smiled to myself when I realized how the two (networking and selling) are very alike.

You see, back when I was a sales manager, I accompanied my sales staff to their appointments sometimes. We had an acronym that we used to help us to remember to ask the right questions. What I found with new sales people was that they would quickly stop asking questions and start SELLING the second they had gathered a piece of information that meant they could be of benefit to the prospect.

What happened as a result is that many times the prospect shut up entirely and got defensive. All of a sudden, instead of being asked all about their wants and needs, they were having to think quickly to deflect the hard sell.

In networking appointments the same can happen. If two people are being introduced by a third, it is better to let that third person do complete introductions and promotion before even opening your mouth! First of all, if you start to talk to early, you may miss an important piece of information and secondly, the introducer won't get to brag about you as much as possible.

So no matter whether you are selling or networking,

BITE YOUR TONGUE!

The calluses you develop will pay off in the long run!

A Target of Millions and Millions

2010-01-31T09:18:00.009-05:00

Yeesh!

With all the hoopla of the Apple iPad roll out, there was one small paragraph that caught my eye. I have copied it below but you can link to the story here.

"The target audience is everyone," said Michael Gartenberg, vice president for strategy and analysis at Interpret, a market research firm. "Apple does not build products for just the enthusiasts," he said. "It doesn't build for the tens of thousands; it builds for the tens of millions."

Hmmm. I guess if you are Apple your target audience (market) can be everyone. But doesn't that go against the very definition of what a target market is?????

I have been doing a lot of reading about this very subject within the last month. One phrase from my reading has stayed with me. It is, "Specialize or Spend."

I think that says it all. The wider the target, the more you have to spend, both in time and money.

I guess Michael Gartenberg thinks Apple has an unlimited supply of both.

What are your thoughts?

Lingo Spingo

2010-01-29T10:29:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, I gave a networking presentation where I used the term, "one-to-one." Knowing that some people might not know what I was referring to, I defined it. (A meeting between two people who are getting to know each other better.)

At the end of the talk, one person in the audience, let's call her Sharon, thanked me for the definition. She shared that she is new to networking and that at a recent event someone had asked her to schedule a one-to-one meeting.

Not being sure what it was for, she called and asked the person if they were interested in what she was selling. This person answered, "No," but didn't explain any further what the intentions of the meeting were.

Confusion.

Sharon had no idea of the reason for the meeting.

So two things were going on here.

1) Lingo was used and it was assumed that everyone knew what the lingo meant.

2) The person scheduling the appointment didn't articulate the reason for the appointment. ("Let's meet to find out how we might be able to help each other."

What this did for Sharon to make her even more afraid of networking. She felt like she didn't know the ropes, that she was missing the directions to the game. And that made her feel less than confident.

Let's play nice. Remember that lingo is lingo and that we need to define it for others or NOT USE IT. And we need to say out loud, "This is the reason we should meet."

Simple.

Giving Back

2010-01-27T08:16:00.007-05:00

I am reading (or skimming, really) Debbie Tenzer's book, Do One Nice Thing. If you're looking for a way to give of yourself, I highly recommend this book or her website.

One suggestion she makes in the book is to teach children empathy by having them help with the elderly in the neighborhood.

Whoosh!

It took me right back to my early years in Lyndonville, NY. I had a very simple upbringing in the one mile square village. Part of that was the small town atmosphere, but equally was the way my parents infused the very concept about children helping.

Next door to us, Mrs. Smith lived in a small, rather ramshackle house. She was in her 80's and lived on only her Social Security check. She also had no phone. (Can you even imagine it?????)

My parents become her lifeline. Every Sunday they fixed a plate of Sunday dinner to take to her. (She for some reason didn't want to come to our house to eat.) They also made sure her lawn was mowed and went to the post office to get her mail. I don't know for sure, but I'm guessin' that they probably went to the grocery store too.

My dad loved to garden (the acorn has not fallen far from the tree!) and Mrs. Smith allowed him to plow her property behind her big old barn as an addition to his garden. Of course, during the growing season, she received all kinds of fresh fruit and veggies.

Mom encouraged me to spend time visiting Mrs. Smith and I can remember sitting on her from porch reading and talking about Aesop's Fables and Grimm's Fairy Tales. Mrs. Smith related that she had never read them because her mother wouldn't allow it.

In networking we constantly talk about mutually beneficial relationships. My parents demonstrated that very early in my life. Everyone gained including me. I learned how important all people were in my life.

Thanks, Mom, Dad and Mrs. Smith!

Resources

2010-01-26T08:19:00.007-05:00

If you are thinking of starting a new business, an old book might be the key for you.

I picked up Target Marketing, by Linda Pinson and Jerry Jinnell at the library.

Even though it was written in 1993, it should be required reading for someone thinking of starting a business. It is a step-by-step process from the germ of an idea to actual business in place.

Along the way, there are easy forms to use to help identify target market, location analysis, competition evaluation, financial and advertising worksheets. And more! Additionally there are a multitude of resources named at the end of each chapter.

This might be a book that deserves to be purchased. You can get it used here for just one penny, but it is worth a whole heck of a lot more.

Getting to Second Base

2010-01-22T07:19:00.006-05:00

In a couple weeks I will be speaking at the Pittsburgh International Networking Day celebration. My topic is Turning Networking Dating into Networking Dollars. During this talk I will share the five bases of networking and how to gain a better ROI on networking time.

I need to take my own advice!

Last week I met with a new contact. This young woman said that she wanted to meet with me. I did not ask why -- stupid me.

Let's just put it this way. She started at the beginning of time focusing on her part in it and brought me along on her ride of history. Every detail. Stuff I really didn't want to know.

I kept trying to get a focus on the conversation to no avail. At one point I was speechless. I just didn't know what to ask next. I think my brain may have been lulled to sleep.

Finally, I asked something that I never ask on a networking appointment. I asked her if she wanted to buy from me. I know that is somewhat rude(when networking as opposed to selling), but I just didn't know what to do next and in my mind I figured it would flush out some point for the conversation.

Of course as I suspected, the answer was no. She explained that she was an expert networker and didn't need a course about networking. (I tried not to smirk.)

So don't do as I did. Don't go into a networking appointment blind. Or if you do, your energy may be sucked right out of you and you will have nothing to show for the time spent. And please don't get me wrong. It is sometimes fun to just meet people -- to find out about them -- as long as it is a conversation not a monologue.

Stones and Tea

2010-01-18T18:57:00.006-05:00

I am listening to the new book Stones into Schools by Greg Mortenson, who also is the author of the wildly successful, Three Cups of Tea.

In the original book, Mortenson relates that he makes a commitment to build schools in the mountains of Pakistan because the members of a village saved his life as he was near death coming back from a mountain climb. He begins the project as a typical American, wanting to get things done and done quickly. A village elder instructs him to take a slower approach, explaining that Greg needs to have three cups of tea with folks as he does business. "With the first you are a stranger, the second you are a friend and the third you are family and we will do anything, including put our life on the line for family."

I am only at the beginning of the second book, but already the author has caught my ear! He explains that he builds schools in the outer reaches of civilization because no one else will go to the ends of the earth to do so. And for one village, it took him not three cups of tea, but 8 years of three cups of tea, winning the favor of the village leader before he was given the go-ahead.

That story made me think about how we "civilized folk" are so willing to quit after just a short time. I hear all the time from networkers that "this person or that person didn't help me (in the time I had devoted to this relationship) so I am moving on."

Now, I am the first to say that some relationships need to be left behind. But I think far too many of us fail to realize that we have to put TIME in for longer than we think necessary before we gain a return on that investment.

I think we can take so much from Greg Mortenson and what he has learned about building schools AND relationships.

One More Time

2010-01-17T13:31:00.005-05:00

For those of you who have followed this blog, you know that I've written a few posts about our yellow Lab, Gable. He is now almost 16 years old.

Each time I write about him it seems like he is nearing the end.

Last Monday night it seemed for sure.

His back leg kept thrusting out toward his front, crossing over so if he was standing it would trip his other back foot. Worst of all it would just collapse beneath him. I wondered if he had broken a hip. When he did manage to pull that foot into place, more times than not he was walking with the foot turned under. Ouch!

Steve made an appointment with the vet at 8 AM the following morning and asked me to go along. I know we both thought that it was going to be Gable's last trip.

But I am happy to report that the Everyready dog is still tickin'. He has a spinal cord injury that is making his back leg paralyzed. There is not much to do except enforced rest. Hopefully within a month it will heal and be better.

Right.

We couldn't figure out how to help him navigate our home with all the slippery wood floors. We didn't want him to exert himself falling down and then trying to get up. You guessed it. The next day I was at Bass Pro buying doggie boots that have rubber soles. I sure felt the need to tell the cashier that these boots were a for a medical need not just foo-foo! We are using just two for his back legs and they seem to keep his feet under him better.

So I'll keep ya' posted.

One thing is, Gable doesn't understand the rest part and still wanders a half mile throught the snow to go pee on the neighbor"s bushes. (That's the closest neighbor and Gable goes out through the fields to accomplish this feat.)

He still thinks of himself as Top Dog!

Two or Three?

2010-01-16T08:37:00.005-05:00

This past week, I met with someone who was introduced to me via an email introduction. I've got to tell you that while it was a high level introduction, it still wasn't at the level of a personal introduction. There were some awkward moments.

I analyzed why this was so.

1. We really had no one to make the in-person introduction and so we bumble along trying to figure out who should say what next.

2. If a third person had been there, the meeting could have been shortened, because that person could have provided background as part of his intro.

3. This person could have also restated the reason he was putting the two of us together, instead of us trying to figure out the right time to talk about it.

4. He could have interjected at points during the conversation to add details that would have been important.

5. He could have given his opinion for this new person to do business with me, which would have had the power of a testimonial.

I could go on. While there are some circumstances where you cannot be introduced to the new contact, (distance, being one) and I know the value of a personal (in-person) introduction. I now have had it reinforced again!

Introductions take the "IF" out of the whole equation.

What's your take on this?

Charlotte the Champion

2009-12-31T06:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I brought a new vacuum cleaner at Sears. Now I tell ya', that is not exactly my idea of a day made in heaven. I don't like to clean anyway, so the appliance is not one I pine for. However, the old vacuum has made cleaning even worse than usual because it was getting rather old and inefficient. The wheels had fallen of the beater bar floor attachment, too.

Off I went to Sears. I have had good luck with Kenmore vacuum cleaners in the past and expected the same for this time around.

But this post is not about the vacuum cleaner.

No, it is about Charlotte, the sales clerk.

Charlotte made my day.

She greeted me with a handshake. And she introduced herself and asked my name before even asking about doing business. (Relationship development 101!)

I asked her a specific question -- to tell me the differences between the various models. She knew her facts and was able to deliver them to me simply. (I am a facts person. I don't want the details. I want just enough to make a fast decision as I don't like shopping.)

She asked if I needed filters or bags for the new cleaner and just because she asked I bought. Sears must love her.

When it came time to pay, my Sears credit card was inactive. As I mentioned, I don't like to shop! Within a few short minutes she had it reactivated. No muss, no fuss.

At the end of the transaction, she extended her hand again for a final handshake.

When in recent times have you been treated like that in a store? (Please tell me about your experience if you have.)

I have to hand it to both Sears and Charlotte. I guess that Sears has a pretty good training program and also that they were smart enough the hire Charlotte.

Thanks, Charlotte. You made shopping for and then buying a vacuum cleaner the highlight of my day.

Yay! Presents!

2009-12-30T07:58:00.008-05:00

Presents! I received some really neat ones for Christmas. Three stand out.

1) I received a Keurig B60 pod coffee maker from my son, Andy and daughter in law, Debora. It is great. On the days I am writing at my home office, I can brew a quick pick me up and be back at my desk within a minute or so. There is no leftover coffee in the pot this way either. I know it's more expensive than just brewing a pot, but if I waste more than half of the pot, then it's not so expensive!

2) My hubby gave me a business card reader. Yes! While you know that I don't collect hands full of cards at networking events, I do ask for two or three of people that I want to get back to. Sometimes those do begin to pile up because I am out of my office so much. I am so excited about getting rid of those piles without having to do all the typing. My model is CardScan/personal. Love it.

3) From our other son, Greg and daughter-in-law, Lisa, hubby and I received an electronic picture frame. Now I know, those have been around for awhile, right? Greg, understanding the technological abilities of this household, uploaded several hundred photos of the family. And there is room for thousands more. We agreed that it would be fun to keep loading to see the years go by and everyone change.

So there you have it. A wonderful holiday for me. But what makes it really worthwhile is that each giver practiced the platinum rule, which is give unto others as they want to be given to. The kids and Steve listened to what I wanted, instead of giving me just any old gift.

What gift did you receive that you love?

Six Dollars = ?

2009-12-23T07:57:00.004-05:00

Remember in grade school when you exchanged names at Christmas time to secretly give small gifts to that person. Well, Secret Santa is alive an well in Toledo, Ohio.

Jeff Pettit is the owner of Artistic Memorials, a firm that creates markers for grave sites and other public locations. Jeff is the first to admit that the economy is affecting his business. Recently Jeff and his wife attended a Dave Ramse y financial seminar and Jeff came away knowing that he wanted to give back in some way. He called me and asked if he could subsidize the December Certified Networker monthly lunch at six dollars per person. Now what nice surprise.

At the lunch Jeff explained his reason for making this offering. He hoped that each six dollar amount given might be a catalyst for that person to "Pay it Forward." And he hoped that the six dollar gift would multiply as it moved forward.

What would you do if you had received that unexpected six dollars to continue the gift giving?

It's as Easy as One, Two, Three

2009-12-21T07:50:00.005-05:00

Here is my thought for the day on relationship development.

Typically, most experts divide the levels of relationship into three levels. Just like in the three bears -- Goldilocks had to get to the right porridge and the right-sized chair. We have to determine with each person we meet, to what level the relationship can travel.

In the last couple years, I've realized that three levels really doesn't tell the story.

The middle level is where we gain connectivity; some people call it the relationship level and others call it the credibility level.

Here's what I propose. We need to divide that level into three segments, too. So we'd have Level 1 Relationship, Level 2 Relationship and Level 3 Relationship. Each level has descriptors of that paricular Level, which make it different from the others.

I have felt this for a long time, but it wasn't until just recently that I began to articulate it.

What do you think about this?

Hair Color

2009-12-19T06:02:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I attended a Youth Leadership Toledo lunch. At the lunch the young gentleman that I sat next to, Alberto Serrano, a sophomore at Maumee, Ohio high school, made my day when he exclaimed about my hair. Now I have to tell you that I never want to be ordinary with my hair and it has been wilder in the past. Right now it still gets comments like Alberto's but for me its tame.

Alberto has beautiful, dark, shiny black hair. He told me that he wants to dye his bangs red but that he was discouraged from doing so, because it just wouldn't be right. This didn't come from his mom, by the way.

Alberto sent me a thank you note for coming to the lunch with the students and in the note he said that my image had given him the feeling that he should express himself sometime in the future, too. Maybe now is not the right time, but soon.

When I was in high school, boys were starting to imitate the Beatles' hairstyles. One coach refused to allow students with long hair (and if you look back those styles were mild) to try out for his team. I guess those were the times.

I hope that Alberto gets to color his hair soon. After all, what is important here. Hair or a well-adjusted, community-minded young man.

Is it a Fit?

2009-12-18T15:34:00.008-05:00

Recently two of my friends have shared experiences with me about being strong-armed by referral sources. In both instances my friends didn't feel good about the situation.

I asked a few questions in each of the above situations.

In both, my two friends didn't have knowledge of the target market of the said partners. Now, I tell ya' that's a killer right there. How in the world can anyone help another if the person wanting help (in the form of new business) doesn't know and can't articulate what prospects they want?

Yeesh!

Secondly, in each situation, my friends were feeling pressured to be in the partnership. This is where I tell everyone to take a step back. If you are having gut level feelings like this, it is probably because your gut is trying to tell you something.

I think a very good phrase to use in this instance is, "You know I'd rather preserve our friendship than jump into something that just doesn't seem right for both of us."

Referral partnerships should feel natural. If it doesn't at the beginning, just like in a marriage, it probably won't get better later.

What is your experience in working with referral partners?

Blah, blah, blah, me, me, me

2009-11-21T08:21:00.006-05:00

Yesterday afternoon a guy called me. I am loosely acquainted with him. But that's it, l-o-o-s-e-l-y!

He called because he wanted me to connect him with one of my friends who is a fairly important person in the BNI network. This gentleman who called me is not a member of BNI and the reason he wanted the connection was that he wanted to gain an opportunity to sell a product at an upcoming BNI conference. I shared with him that BNI does business with its members in all aspects. Therefore it would be fruitless for me to connect him with this person.

He went on to say, "Well you know, I've been a member of BNI in the past and I wouldn't have a problem joining again. I was also (at the same time) a member of (competing group to BNI) but neither of them have worked very well for me." Duh! I wonder why! I wonder where his loyalties lie? Probably not far outside his skin.

The whole, late, Friday afternoon conversation was about him, his product, his lack of success with networking groups, his referral requests that were not honored, etc. It just doesn't work for him. Never in the conversation did he talk about what he could give. I felt like I needed to wash my hands when I finally clicked the off button on the phone.

The frustrating part for me is that if people could just get the concept of giving without expectation, especially in the referral world, that wonderful things will come back. I truly do believe that the universe pays back, not necessarily in a direct way.

Anyway, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I think it is especially impactful in this week before the American Thanksgiving. Maybe this week, we can all give a referral or help to someone who is not expecting it.

What do ya' think?

Adversity = Product

2009-11-18T07:14:00.006-05:00

My friend Christine Kummerer lost her job due to the economic slowdown in NW Ohio. A graphic artist, she decided to take a deep breath and start her own company, Kreations by Christine. She also participated in some of the job clubs, not convinced that business ownership was for her. Lucky for the club members, Christine is creative, or Kreative as her business card implies!

She has developed resume business cards taking the now old idea of the
"brochure" business card and instead, turning it into a mini resume. I think this is just such a usable idea for the job seeker who may be attending many networking events. Whipping out the letter-sized resume always seemed so awkward and especially for the person receiving it. What it the heck do you do with that big pile of paper, when you want to keep your hands free to shake hands and write notes? With the resume business card, it gives enough information that it can create interest.

Job seekers everywhere can connect with Christine at ckummerer1@roadrunner.com to order this ingenious marketing product. What do you this of this idea?

Sweepstakes

2009-11-05T19:36:00.006-05:00

Was at a morning networking meeting this week where Dionne Neubauer, the COO of the chamber delivered a talk about all the opportunities that the chamber provides to its members.

Also, my networking tip at this event was for people to write two things of interest about themselves on one business card and then to be willing to share one point of interest with someone they chat with after the meeting and also to find out about this person's interest.

So after the meeting I was at the back of the room chatting with my friend Lynne Calvelage. She is co-owner of my favorite coffee shop in Findlay, Coffee Amici. She commented, "I get it, there is lots of stuff for us as business people to do, but we have to take advantage of it. It doesn't just happen." Within seconds Jody Walters, sales person for the FindlayNOW magazine joined us. She said, "Guess what one of my interests is!" Lynne and I were amazed that she enters sweepstakes on a regular basis AND she wins."

The three of us looked at each other and said, "If you don't play, you don't get a chance to win!"

I guess you had to be there, but it really rung true at that moment.

Wish List

2009-10-31T06:00:00.001-04:00

Would you like an easy way to help a five-star organization?

Becky Knapp, is the Job Placement Coordinator for The Autism Model School. This charter school is one of only two who received highest marks from the State of Ohio for the level of education they are providing the students. As with many institutions, The Model School got hit with funding cuts from the state. What this means to Becky is that she has NO BUDGET for projects that she organizes within the school walls. These projects help the students to learn skills that make them more employable outside the school walls.

I encouraged Becky to create a wish list of items that we could donate that would help to fund the micro-enterprise projects. By the way the school is a 501(c) 3 organization.

Here's the list:

Mosaic Tile Setting Grid (perhaps you were once into mosaics, but have moved on????)
Glass Mosaic Cutters (same as above!)
Tile Scorer/Nipper
Mosaic Mirror
Book "Making Mosaics-Designs & Techniques"
Book: "The Encyclopedia of Mosaic Techniques"
Book "The Mosaic Idea Book"
Clay Pots
Joint Compound
Marbles
Wooden Plaques/signs/letters/numbers
Nails & Hammers
Wood Stain
Paint & Related Supplies
Beads and beaded jewelry supplies
Cement
Glass Tiles

Yeah, yeah, I know. Just another charitable ask, right? Well, let me give you some figures and also put a face to the figures.

Mary Walters is the founder of the school and she continues to lead it. Education was not her career focus. Then she had THREE autistic children. When her daughter Maria, now 18 years old, was diagnosed, the chances of having an autistic child were one in 10,000. Recently statistics were released by The Center for Disease Control and Prevention that the statistics have now changed. Now for every 100 children born, one will have autism spectral disorder. Yes, that is right, one in one hundred.

So look around. Do you have something to spare? If so, you will have a hand in helping the students to become contributing members of our society.

Back at Ya'

2009-10-30T09:21:00.005-04:00

A few weeks ago I presented a training for my friend Deanna Tucci Schmitt, Executive Director of BNI of Western PA. My trainings are always a conversation - interactive with the group. I answered one question that was asked of me by saying, "What did that person say when you asked them about it?"

They laughed out loud and said, "Did Deanna teach you that?" And guess what? As a matter of fact she did. Whenever I complain about something that someone has done, she always turns it back to me. She makes me responsible for correcting the situation or at least addressing with the offender.

Now sometimes I just want to vent, as we all do. I want someone to be there so I can talk out loud to hear myself. Deanna is equally willing to listen and not give me her trademark phrase. She is a good friend. She is willing to be both a mentor and a listener. I guess if I think about it, a mentor is a good listener.

Anyway, networking is all about personal interaction. Keep it flowing!

From Pumkins to Manuals

2009-10-23T08:42:00.007-04:00

A favorite article of mine is called, Charity Networking with a Princess. It is on page 69 of the book, Masters of Networking. To sum it up in a few words, it describes how several groups, individuals and organizations linked together to raise more money and more visibility for each of the entities involved than one group member could have done for themselves alone. Each of the members has both a need and also excess of something.

Buy or borrow the book to read it. Then you'll know what I mean.

So we come to pumpkins.

My friend, Patrick Abec, owner of Abec's Small Business Review, lives out in the country and for the fun of it grew a field full of pumpkins. He had an event earlier this month where his business clients were invited to an afternoon in the country which included the children all having the opportunity to get a FREE pumpkin. Even after this day, Patrick still had quite a few of the orange orbs left. He offered them to folks. I took him up on his offer because my family gets together for an annual pumpkin carving event. It's this weekend and I have nine nice pumpkins that will get funny or scary faces. Patrick wouldn't take any money for the pumpkins.

I have another friend, Becky Knapp. She is the job placement coordinator for the Autism Model School. Her job is to help their high school students find employment or internships. One job I have always hated is getting all the materials ready for my classes. This is the type of job her students excel at. So this morning I am picking up 17 manuals that are all ready for class. The best part is that they will probably be perfectly done and I didn't have to touch them. When Becky and I talked about a payment arrangement, I expressed that I didn't want to pay them as actual employees, but as a vendor. She didn't think they were set up to accept those types of payments, so instead, I will make a donation to the school. This is where the pumpkins come in. I will increase the amount of the donation to include what I normally would have paid to buy the pumpkins, probably around $25. While that increase doesn't sound like a lot, this charter school lost $50,000 in funding from the state, so any extra is welcomed.

How does Patrick win. Well, as Becky is out talking with various employers, she will be able to refer folks to Patrick to be included as a spotlight article in his monthly business paper.

This is a very small example of how this could all work. Read the article and then tell me who else you think could profit and also give something as part of this circle.

2009-10-16T07:45:00.006-04:00

Aly Sterling is a friend of mine. We serve on the Leadership Toledo Board together. She owns Architectural Philanthropy, a company that helps non-profits to have sustainable fund-raising. She's doing some great things in the community.

Several days ago I received Aly's newsletter, but didn't have time to read it till last night.

Wow! What a message. Read it below.

I have to tell you about something that happened last Friday.

At just around 6:00pm, following the tail-end of a whirlwind week, my home phone rang. My caller ID said, "AAA Northwest Ohio". I hesitated, but then thought this one was OK to answer (yes, I too screen calls, especially on Fridays).

The woman on the other end asked who she was speaking to and then proceeded ... yes, hold on to your seat ... to ... THANK ME FOR BEING A MEMBER.

That's it. She just wanted to let me know how much they appreciated my loyalty, and that if we're receiving their monthly magazine (think newsletter!) there's an entire page of benefits listed that I should be sure to read (think outcomes! stories of impact! testimonies!).

She thanked me again and told me to have a great weekend, and then she hung up. Again, that's it! Eureka! What if every non-profit took five (5) key donors a week and made a call like this?

I know I'll be renewing next time ...

Have a great weekend,

Aly

Even though this message is directed specifically to the non-profit world, certainly we who are trying to make a profit can take this message and use it to our advantage. Think about it.

What would your company look like if you called five clients ever Friday at 4 PM just to thank them for being a customer?

Skills=Connections

2009-10-15T06:00:00.000-04:00

My friend David Trisel, owner of Graf-x-cape and Grab Bag Marketer, led a networking exercise at the GreaterFindlayInc. morning meeting last week that was ingenious.

With a very creatively developed worksheet, he asked each of us to quickly list five skills that we possess. We then had to trade our worksheet with someone else at our table. That person had to write suggestions of how we could reach out into the community to share out skills.

I quickly wrote five skills: Listening, Making Eggplant Parmesan, Gardening, Assembling Teams and Reading.

My partner was our featured speaker for the day, Hiroaki Kawamura, Ph.D. the chair of the Department of Language and Culture at the University of Findlay. The voices inside my head were nay-saying the value of this exercise. "How in the work would my skills equate to anything in Dr. Kawamura's world."

The voices have been silenced.

When I got my paper back, his suggestions were:

1) Organize a cooking group for internationals (especially housewives.)

2) Organize a conversation table for international wives.

3) (This one made me laugh!) Please feed me with your delicious eggplant parmesan!

I am interested in talking with Dr Kawamura, to discuss further the idea of a conversation table. I can tell you that I would NEVER have thought of it myself.

I suggest you try this at your next event where you want people to get to know each other better. It will also begin to weave those skills into the community fabric.

If you try it, come back to this post and tell your experience in a comment. Also, if you want a copy of David's worksheet, I can introduce you to David.

That's Not Possible

2009-10-14T06:00:00.002-04:00

I have some really neat people in my current Certified Networker class that I am teaching in Findlay, Ohio. One such person is Ernie Lewis. He owns E.A. Lewis Consulting and is really really good at helping companies to do better. But that's not why I'm writing.

Here's the deal.

Ernie ran 100 miles all in one fell swoop last weekend.

Yep, you got it, 100 miles. And it was not just your usual road race. No sire-e-e. It was at Titusville, PA in Oil Creek State Park. It was on rain-soaked trails. It took him 30 hours and he climbed 17,000 feet during the run, but he did it! Ernie was back home Sunday resting his sore feet.

I have not talked with Ernie, yet, (hopefully tomorrow that will happen), but his friend Rod Cundiff, sent an email out to everyone letting us know that Ernie had completed the race. We were all worried because the website that was supposed to track his progress stopped tracking about ten hours in. We didn't know whether he had been pulled out due to hypothermia (a fear of his) or just technology not working. Luckily it was the latter.

What's really neat about this was that Ernie carried 104 names of people who have been affected by cancer and also he raised over $5600 to donate to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. He had told us in class that the people on the list helped him to keep going when he wanted to quit.

Thank you, Ernie for pushing yourself beyond reason. Thank you for giving.

Wasted

2009-10-13T16:21:00.008-04:00

The other day at our BNI meeting, a guest was asked to introduce himself toward the end of the meeting. His explanation was, "You guys, already know what (mumble, mumble) is and I've visited one other time, so you all remember me."

Huh!!!

I guess it might have been a day that I had a substitute attend in my place, as I don't remember this young man.

Additionally, because he was unclear with his introduction, I still don't know who he is or what his company name is.

At the end of the meeting I got caught in a conversation before I made my way across the room to meet him, but he was gone already.

Lesson learned here?

Don't ever assume.

That young business person wasted a prime opportunity to have the focus of 35 or so people on him.

It's cliche to say this, but it is like paying for a Super Bowl ad and having nothing in the spot. Well, I guess it didn't cost him 1.5 mil, but you just never know.

Taking Responsibility

2009-10-09T10:57:00.007-04:00

Many times I hear from acquaintances that something is not working for them. Typically it might be membership in an organization or even a referral relationship with another person.

What I always find interesting is when I ask, "So tell me what you've done to make it work."

More times than not, the person complaining, has focused on the negative and has not moved away from that point of view. That colors everything about the situation.

For example, getting referrals is so wonderful. Giving referrals and not ever getting any in return is not so wonderful. Instead of focusing on who's not giving, change the viewpoint to why you're not getting what you want.

Usually what I find when I ask is:

The person who wants referrals has not explained exactly what they need, instead just saying, "Send me anything."

The person who wants referrals mistakenly assumes that since they've given a referral to someone that the person will automatically know to send a referral back.

Changing these two situations will probably mean that something different will happen. And what is for sure is the negativism is gone.

What have you done to change a bothersome situation?

I Love Melons!

2009-08-25T16:54:00.005-04:00

Well, what can I say other than I've spent more time outside this summer than sitting in front of my computer.

I was out in the garden yesterday looking AGAIN at my cantaloupes, hoping that they will get ripe soon. It just seems that I can't hurry them along.

I laughed when I thought about how it is the same with relationships. Hoping and wishing for a fruitful return won't do the trick. Just as the melons need more sunlight and water, I need to pay attention to my friends and acquaintances if I want them to even think about remembering me.

Not a big aha, but just thought you might like the analogy.

Cutting Membership

2009-07-22T21:30:00.005-04:00

Someone mentioned to me today that they had cut back on some of the groups they belong to because of cost savings and in fact, the groups they left weren't fruitful for them. They asked me what I thought.

I didn't have a good answer right there. Of course not. I never do!

But later I realized why they need to continue those memberships.

Here's the deal.

Yes, you can participant with some groups as a guest paying an extra fee. However, I think having a membership pushes more involvement. the conversation in your head might sound like this, "You know, I better go to this event so I can get my money's worth from it."

But here's more of the deal. And I've written about this before. If you're not out there playing and meeting people, you won't be able to help your networking contacts. And if you stop helping them, probably they are going to limit their help to you.

So my new answer is, "Hell, yes, you need to be a member. It will get you out there instead of you allowing yourself to sit in your office cave."

So there!

Lost Name Tags

2009-07-17T07:19:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I was at a networking event when one of the other participants made the comment that everyone always knows my name because I wear a name tag all the time. This person didn't happen to have a name tag on. Nor did most of the people around the table.

I asked why they didn't wear name tags.

One person explained that she is always loses her name tag.

Curiously, I asked how that happens. She said that she takes her name tag off before she goes into grocery stores or places like the post office and then it drops out of her car or her pocket.

Even more curious, I asked, "Why in the world do you take your name tag off when you go into a store?"

Can you give me an answer of why someone (in sales) would do this?

Fear: Protective and Restrictive

2009-07-15T21:57:00.008-04:00

This past weekend my granddaughter, Kaylie came to visit. We had her little wading pool up on the deck, so she could splash and have fun.

Steve really wanted her to experience the pond, so while her dad, Greg, was taking a shower and we were trusted with her care, we encouraged a foray into the pond.

Now, Kaylie is 18 months old.

No FEAR!

She would have walked right out into the pond until the water was over her head. We had to watch her like a hawk, because she just didn't understand that the pond gets deep. She was just having fun. I guess grandma's swimming lessons are going to have to start soon.

It occurred to me that at some point, fear does set into our lives. It's a good thing and also a negative. Just think about how easy it would be if we could just wade into life. Whether it be visiting that new networking group, calling on a new prospect or asking for help.

Think how much easier it would be if we didn't have the cautionary voices inside our head.

Just a thought!

PS Don't tell Greg and Lisa that we had Kaylie in the pond. It will just be our secret.

Hard Kernel Cafe

2009-07-15T07:31:00.005-04:00

I met the neatest lady at the WEN West meeting on Monday. Debbie Boris is an inventor. The product she has produced is a popcorn kernel remover. I don't know if that is what she actually calls it, but it is an ingenious little gadget that sits in the bottom of your bowl and sifts the unpopped kernels to the bottom, out of the way. You can read about it here.

What is really wonderful about WEN and the people involved is that we all have resources. I was able to tell Debbie about the Center for Innovative Food Technology and to invite her to several other events.

Women really like to help each other. What ways have you seen this?

"It would be impossible for me to help her."

2009-06-23T07:39:00.007-04:00

Different people need different things.

At the end of most every conversation when I am networking, I mean to ask the question, "And how can I help you?"

Some people get that deer in the headlights look. It's probably because they've probably never thought about what they really wanted.

If you don't know what you want, I promise you that you won't get it.

Or maybe you'll get it but you won't realize it!

Or even worse, you get something you don't want!

In the last couple days, the answers I've gotten are as varied as the people I've chatted with.

One wanted me to explore a relationship with another entity for him.

One wanted me to help her to figure out what she really wants and NEEDS for her business.

One wanted me to help her to figure out if she should accept a board position.
One wanted me to help her to write a nomination.

One wanted me to introduce her to a helpful resource.

One wanted me to help her to more clearly see the future for her organization.

One wanted me to clarify an opportunity.

As you can see, none of the above needed a referral or prospect at the moment I talked with them. Sometimes we get brain-locked thinking that the only way we can help is to give direct business. And yes, bottom-line, that's what we all need, but there are plenty of steps in-between that can inch us closer that that new client.

What are all the different ways you have helped people?

Even more telling is what do you need this week?

Mouthwash Needed?

2009-06-17T07:52:00.006-04:00

Not too long ago I helped someone indirectly. Without much effort on my part, I steered a nice piece of business to this person and also at the same time eliminated the chance for competition. I really didn't think much about it. It was the right thing to do.

The person I helped is someone that I had always wanted as a referral partner, someone that would send referrals my way and also had the ability to do so.

But it had never happened.

I had helped this person before but always thinking that I should get something in return.

Isn't it serendipity that the first time I sent assistance without thinking of getting anything that this person now wants to help me.

Do you think I had commission breath before?????

Louise, Chapter 2

2009-06-06T07:55:00.010-04:00

A few years ago I heard a new phrase at a conference I attended. Ivan Misner used it in a presentation. It is reticular activation. One meaning is that once you become aware (and see) something, then you see it all the time. For instance, because I love driving my little yellow Mini, I see other Mini's on the road quite frequently, even though we don't have a dealer in the area. Other drivers probably don't notice those little "roller skates" as one friend calls my car.

But I digress.

As you may have read, I recently sat and chatted with Louise Mikesell-Wireman. You can read about it here.

Yesterday, I went to the monthly Social Media Networking Breakfast. Even before attending the event, I had connected with Patrick Giammarco through Linkedin. I wanted to be sure to meet him in person as he was attending, too. As soon as I got there I saw him and I made my way across to room to him. Another man was standing there and Patrick introduced David Pett to me. David is on the job quest and he is also an artist.

But I digress!

In my chat with David Pett, he mentioned that his wife is about ready to launch a line of cookies. Louise was also at the breakfast yesterday. So that's when the old reticular activation kicked in. You can bet that I introduced David to Louise. He had no idea that such help was out there for his wife. Taking her cookies to market will be a lot easier and mistake-free because of serendipity.

I love networking when I am able to help so many people as a result of just keeping my eyes and ears open.

Who have you been able to help recently?

You Do That Too?

2009-06-04T19:58:00.007-04:00

Curiosity is a good thing!

Several weeks ago I invited Louise Mikesell-Wireman to visit my BNI chapter. She works for the Center for Innovative Food Technology in Toledo. I had thought of it as an business incubator that helped people who wanted to create and move a food product to the point where it could be sold to the public.

Well, it is that and MORE!

And so is Louise.

This is what's so interesting. I have been in the same room with Louise many times at a WEN meeting, but we had never ended up close enough to each other to chat. Because of that, I had a one-sided view of the food center.

Along with my limited knowledge of it, I also had a very narrow (a wrong) scope on Louise. She is funny, creative, smart and should be writing a book!
Now, I have no desire to be in the food world, except to eat (and hopefully a little less of it!) so I figured there was no way we would be able to connect or that I might be able to provide help.

WRONG

Just in passing, near the end of our rollicking conversation (ask Louise about the farmers at the farmers' markets, if you get a chance) she mentioned that one thing that she wants to participate in is something called Epicure Magazine. From what I can tell, it is an upscale media publication that is customized to each region where it is published. Louise needs to raise sponsorship money in order to make this happen. If you want to help, connect with Louise at the center.

Also, as a result of this conversation, I may be able to help another business friend get his food in the door of a company that is a client of Louise's. Just by chance he had asked for an introduction to that company the week before.

While I am big into focused networking, I do like to leave the door open to a little fun and a little serendipity.

What is the most interesting connection you've made this year?

I'm Sure You Don't Really Mean That!

2009-06-03T07:18:00.006-04:00

About a week ago I presented to a group that wanted to learn some basics of networking. I shared that there would be three types of people they would meet at a networking event; prospects, those who could refer and others or social contacts. I said that the goal was to schedule an appointment with any of the first two types and to "move on" from the third.

After my talk, a lady came up and said that she had to take acception with what I said. She said that she was in the category of being able to refer. That is her job -- to help others find resources -- and that she didn't appreciate people coming up to her at networking events with that in mind.

H-m-m-m-m!

As she walked away, I thought to myself, "Why in the world does she bother?"

Have you run into anyone like that lately? What would your answer have been to her?

Cellphone Are Good, Too!

2009-05-28T10:28:00.004-04:00

You all have read how I feel about people taking cell phone calls during appointments. That is death of the relationship as far as I'm concerned if I am meeting with someone and they take a call.

But cell phones are good, too.

Or to be more specific, cell phone numbers are good.

Whenever I schedule an appointment with someone, I type their cell phone number right into the information about the appointment. That way if I need to connect (I'm running late, or I'm at the appointment and they are not) I have half a chance of saving the appointment and eliminating frustration.

The few times that I've not done this, of course, I needed the number. So that's my story today.

What tricks do you have when you are networking?

When is it Not Networking?

2009-05-27T21:26:00.006-04:00

Today, if someone peeked in my window they might have regarded me as a failure at networking. I had almost the whole day at my desk and no appointments what-so-ever.

Wow!

That doesn't sound like the networking guru.

But taking a page from my son, Greg's, no distraction Fridays, I needed that time to get caught up. I usually leave my home office fairly early in the day (6:30 or 7 AM) and sometimes don't get back till the very end of the day. I don't carry my laptop with me. I know, I know, you're all rolling your eyes.

So at the end of the day, I usually have a pile of "stuff" that I need to do to honor commitments I've made to people during the day. Sometimes those don't get done right away. I feel bad, but I also want a personal life, too.

Today was luxury. I did so many of those little jobs and also reviewed the last of the homework from my Cerified Networker class that just ended. (sigh!) I did ccommunicate with a few people via email and even responded to a few phone calls. I can start the day tomorrow (and it will be a long one) knowing that the pile has been removed from my desk.

I will be a better networker because of it.

So phooey to those of you peeping toms out there. A day at the desk is a good day for a networker!

How often do you get a day in your office?

My Garden

2009-05-26T06:22:00.002-04:00

This past three-day weekend was the first weekend I've had to devote to chores and fun around the house since the weekend before Easter. That also probably explains why the month-long absence from blogging posts.

Since I am truly an introvert by nature, playing in my garden all weekend was just the absolutely very best. My veggie garden is now all ready for the rest of the year. My final task Monday afternoon was to gain control of the raspberry plants. They like to go beyond their boundaries.

We harvested our first crop of radishes, sown about a month or so ago by Steve when I was out of town. They are the just the crunchiest and mildest radishes we've ever produced.

My garden also contains flowers. It is supposed to be a stylized, formal garden, with beds outlined in triangle shapes. Well, plants have their own mind. That's the way it starts out and then by season end, it is a crazy quilt of color and texture. Even so, I stick to 'tried and true' flowers that I know work and are not finickly about the care they receive. That means plenty of zinnias, marigolds, spider flowers, basil plants, loves-lies-bleeding, cannas, lilies and nasturiums. I love how these old-fashioned flowers look, smell and also pull in the hummingbirds. In the fall, I have to be careful not to get buzzed by a happy hummer!

What does that all have to do with networking?

Nothing!

Oh, I guess I could make a link to the fact that I stick with what works. In networking it makes sense to work with the people who have helped me before. Probably they will do so again, especially if I can help them, too.

How would you connect something in your life to networking?